


Secret Lover(s)

by theinsandoutsofcastiel



Series: Secret Lover(s) [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, Multi, NSFW
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-09
Updated: 2016-10-30
Packaged: 2018-05-12 17:15:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 26,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5674159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theinsandoutsofcastiel/pseuds/theinsandoutsofcastiel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Could you do an imagine where Bobby brings home a 22 year old girl from a case to live with him, because she has nowhere else to go? And then Dean and Sam arrive and both start falling in love with her? And the reader/girl honestly can’t decide, so ends up secretly seeing them both?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Secret Lover(s)

Warnings: Mentions of dead family, mentions of blood/injury, cursing, smut, fluff, Reader feels guilty, let me know if I missed something     

Fic:

           You were alone in this world; twenty two years old, family dead, no friends to speak of, house burned to the ground, car totaled. The only things you had left to your name were the bloodied, tattered clothes you currently wore. You weren’t sure why these things, these demons, had come after you, but did it really matter? They had taken everything from you.

           Darkness surrounded you as you sat on the street corner. Your house, reduced to a pile of cinders, across the street from you. Screams sounded all around you before they descended into silence. Tears streamed down your face as you thought of all the years these creatures had stolen from you. You wrapped your arms around your knees and buried your face in them.

           Footsteps sound from behind you and a hand falls on your shoulder. “Just do it already,” you scream, “You’ve already taken everything from me.”

           “Hey, you’re ok,” a man with a southern accent says. He moves to kneel in front of you and takes your face between his hands, lifting it until your eyes meet his. “I ain’t here to hurt you,” he says. There’s a sincerity in his eyes that makes you trust him despite your circumstances. “Those monsters that tried to hurt you are all dead, you don’t have to worry about them anymore,” he continues. You don’t even respond, tears just continue to run down your face. “Don’t cry,” he says as if he’s unsure of what to do, “everything’s gonna be alright.”

           His last words create a fire within you that makes you want to scream. “Nothing is alright,” you shout, “nothing will _ever_ be alright. They took everything from me. I’ve got no one to turn to, nowhere to go. Please explain to me how that is _alright._ ”

           “I know right now it seems like everything’s gone to shit. Trust me, I know, I’ve been there; but things will get better, I promise. You just have to give it some time,” he says.

           “Bull shit,” you bite back. You know you shouldn’t be rude to the guy who’d just saved your life, but you couldn’t help it.

           “Have you really got nowhere to go?” he asks.

           “No, nowhere,” you respond, defeated.

           “You could come stay with me for a few days till you get back on your feet,” he says, “if you want to.” The only thing you could do was agree.

           “My name’s Bobby by the way,” he says, “What’s your name?”

           “Y/N,” you say quietly.

                                                       ***

           A few days had turned into weeks; weeks had turned into months. The longer you stayed with Bobby, the more you realized that he needed you around as much as you needed him. You had spent the first week moping around and healing. As time went by, you started to see Bobby as a father figure, he took care of you and treated you like you were family. After a while, you began to pull your own weigh around the house; you started cooking, cleaning, and organizing. Bobby began teaching you about the supernatural world; everything from researching to first aid and even hunting. You’d even been out on a few hunts, easy salt and burn cases, but hunts none the less.

           You stood at the kitchen counter, getting ready to serve dinner when there’s a knock at the door. Knocking was putting it nicely; it sounded more like someone was trying to break the door down. “Hold your horses!” Bobby shouts.

           “Don’t worry Bobby, I’ve got it,” you say as you wash your hands and wipe them on a dish towel. You open the front door slightly and peek out before opening the door a little bit wider. Two gorgeous men are standing in front of you. One is tall with short, dirty blonde hair and emerald green eyes. The other man is even taller with long brown hair and hazel eyes.

           “Who the Hell are you?” the shorter one asks.

           “Y/N,” you respond, “Who the Hell are you?”

           “Oh,” the shorter one says, “you’re that chick Bobby took in.”

           “Dean, be nice,” the taller one says, smacking his brother on the shoulder. Then it hits you; Dean, these must be the Winchesters that Bobby’s told you about.

           “If that’s Dean, you must be Sam,” you say extending your hand to the taller one. He takes your hand to shake it; your hand feels so small in his large one. “Nice to finally put faces to the names,” you say.

           “Same here,” Sam responds.

           “Well, do you guys want to come in or do you want to just stand out here all day?” you ask. Dean grunts and pushes his way past you.

           “Sorry about him,” Sam says, running his hand through his hair and giving you an awkward smile, “it’s been a difficult hunt.” You let Sam in before shutting the door behind him.

           “We haven’t been able to find anything,” you hear Dean’s voice say.

           “You idgits ever hear of a library?” Bobby asks. Dean just grumbles.

           “Dinner’s ready, Bobby,” you say, adding, “There’s enough for you two if you guys want some.”

           “I’m not one to pass up a free meal,” Dean says, shooting you a smile. So, Dean was a fan of food, you’d keep that in mind.

           The boys told you about their current hunt as you sat down to eat. You find out that the boys are looking for a cursed object that, when used, fries the users’ brains to a crisp. So far, no other information about the object had turned up.

           Even after weeks of research, the four of you had nothing. You spent time with both of the boys, and honestly you liked both of them, maybe even more than liked. Dean was infuriating; at times he would flirt with you shamelessly, at others he would act like you didn’t even exist. Bobby had told you about how much of a womanizer Dean could be, but that didn’t stop you for falling for him. Sam’s flirtations with you where a little more subtle; a glance here, a touch there, interspersed with a slightly suggestive comment or joke that only you could hear. He was shy at first, but the more time you spent with him, the more he opened up and the more you fell for him.

As the days went by with no results, the Winchesters and Bobby began to work on other cases in the area to help pass the time. On this particular day, Bobby had taken Dean out on a hunt that he had been working on while he left you and Sam to continue hunting for information on the cursed object. This was the first time you’ve been alone with either of the brothers and it made you nervous.

You sat across the table from Sam. He shuts his book and asks you to hand him another. “Sure,” you say as you pass him a new book without looking up from your own. His fingers brush against yours, causing your heart to skip a beat. You look up to find Sam looking at you before looking away quickly. He turns his attention to the book, but you continue to stare at him. You love the way his hair falls in his face when he reads, how he pinches the bridge of his nose when he’s frustrated, the way he says ‘so get this’ when he thinks he’s found something useful.

           Sam looks up to find you still staring at him. “Is something wrong?” he asks.

           “What? No,” you say quickly before looking back to your book. His hand reaches across the table and brushes a loose strand of hair behind your ear. You gasp as you look back up to find Sam’s eyes locked on yours. “Sam,” you whisper as his hand cups your cheek.

           “Y/N,” he whispers back as his thumb traces along your lips. His touch sends shivers down your spine and causes goose bumps to appear on your skin. Your breathing becomes shallow and quick as you stand up from your chair. Sam does the same and meets you half way across the table. Your lips collide with his as he pushes the books on the table out of the way. You push yourself up onto the tabletop and Sam grabs your hips, pulling you towards him. Your legs fall over the side of the table on either side of Sam’s body. His arms wrap around your waist and your arms wrap around his neck. His lips break from yours and trail to your ear. “These past few days have been torture,” Sam says, “not being able to talk to you alone; not being able to tell you how I feel about you.”

            “Sam,” you say, taking his face between your hands and pushing him away from you slightly. A smile spreads across your face before you press your lips to his again. Your lips part and his tongue snakes into your mouth. His tongue slides against yours before exploring the rest of your mouth. One of his hands moves up to wrap in your hair, the arm still wrapped around your waist draws you closer. You moan against his lips and his mouth swallows the sound.

           One of your hands slides from his chest to his abdomen, feeling the strong muscle beneath his shirt. “I tried to stay away from you,” he whispers, “but I couldn’t. You’re perfect, I love you.” Your breath catches in your throat. Sam pulls away from you. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that,” Sam says nervously as he runs a hand through his hair, “I just thought –”

           You cut him off. “Sam, I love you too,” you say breathlessly. A smile spreads across his face, literally from ear to ear. He takes your face between his hands and pulls you in to kiss you again. You can feel your body getting hotter by the second. You wrap your legs around his waist and pull him closer to you. His fingers dip under the hem of your shirt to feel the skin beneath.

           Suddenly, you hear the sound of a car pulling up beside the house. “Shit,” Sam says. Your legs drop from his waist and he moves away from you. You slide off the table and begin to help Sam fix the stacks of books that Sam had pushed out of the way. You both run your hands over yourselves, straightening your hair and clothing. You sit down across from Sam and pick up the book you had been looking through before the whole incident with Sam had begun. He picks up a book and begins flipping through the pages.

           The door opens and Bobby walks in, followed by Dean. You look up from your book and try to act as casual as possible. “Hey guys,” you say with a smile, “I thought you guys were out on a hunt. What are you doing back so soon?”

           “One of my contacts got to it before we did,” Bobby says.

           “I guess that means you two can get back to research then right?” Sam asks.

           “I was looking forward to killing some evil sons of bitches,” Dean says grumpily as he plops down at the table next to Sam.

                                                      ***

           Days go by and none of them are spent alone with Sam. It’s like torture, all you want to do is kiss him, touch him, tell him you love him; but with Bobby and Dean around, it’s impossible.

           You sit at the breakfast table, Sam and Dean across from you, Bobby beside you. You try to keep your eyes on your plate, but they seem to keep trailing to Sam’s face. “I’m gonna head over to the library across town after this. Sam, you up for some research today?” Bobby asks.

           “Um, yeah, sure,” Sam says, but he sounds reluctant.

           When breakfast is over, Sam and Bobby leave to do their research, leaving you alone with Dean. You weren’t sure how to act around Dean. He continued his pattern of flirting with you one second and ignoring you the next. Currently, he was in one of his “ignoring you” phases. Dean leaves to sit in the living room as you wave goodbye to Sam and Bobby from the door. As soon as the car is out of sight, you grab a book. You spend most of the day reading and Dean spends most of the day ignoring you and watching some TV show. Once in a while you try to start a conversation, but it mostly ends with a grunt from Dean before he turns back to the television. Finally you can’t take it anymore, you get up and put the book you were reading back on the shelf.

           “I don’t know what the Hell your problem is Dean,” You say from behind him.

           “What?” he asks as he turns around to face you. He sounds genuinely confused. “I don’t have a problem; not with you if that’s what you mean,” he says.

           “Listen, I know Bobby is like a father to you, but he’s like a father to me too; if you think I’m trying to keep him to myself or something, you’re wrong,” you say.

           “No, I don’t think that,” he says. He still sounds confused.

           “Then why do you treat me the way you do?” you ask, “It’s like I’m here one second and gone the next. I don’t get it.”

           He stands up from his chair and begins walking towards you. You stand your ground until he’s about two feet from you. “I don’t want to hurt you Y/N,” he says as if it makes all the sense in the world. To you it makes absolutely no sense at all.

           “Hurt me?” you ask, “What are you –”

           “I’ve been in Hell for what seemed like forty years. I was tortured to the point where I began torturing people to end my pain,” he explains, “I’m afraid that if I get too close to you I’ll hurt you.”

           “Dean,” you whisper as you step closer and reach up to caress his face, “Bobby told me about what happened to you.”

           “He doesn’t really know,” Dean says, shaking his head and pulling your hand way from his face.

           “You could tell me,” you say softly, “I’d listen.”

           “You would?” he asks, his expression softening and his green eyes becoming brighter.

           “Yeah,” you respond, “of course I –” Both your words and your thoughts are cut off when Dean tangles his fingers in your hair and crashes his lips against yours. Any space that had existed between you was gone in a matter of seconds. You begin backing up, pulling Dean along with you until your back hits the wall. One of his hands trails down the side of your body and comes to rest on your hip. “Dean,” you whisper. He takes the opportunity to suck your bottom lip into his mouth and tug on it with his teeth before thrusting his tongue into your mouth.

           Dean’s strong hand wraps around your thigh and pulls your leg up to his waist. You wrap your leg around him and pull him closer. Your hands run over his body, trying to feel him beneath all those layers of clothing. Dean’s arm wraps around your waist and lifts you up; you wrap your other leg around him and cling to him as he carries you to his bedroom. His lips never part from yours as he lays you down on his bed. As soon as your head hits the pillows, you begin tugging at the hem of his shirt, trying to get him to remove the material from his body.

           His lips break from yours. “Are you sure you want this?” Dean asks.

           “Yes, Dean, I want this; I want you,” you say, looking up at his emerald green eyes, “I love you.” The words escape your lips as a whisper. You never meant to say them, but that didn’t make them any less true than the words you’d said to Sam.

           “You do?” Dean asks, a wide smile spreading across his face. You roll your eyes at him; the bastard was already smug enough as it was, you didn’t need to add to his ego. “I love you too,” he says as his thumb runs over your cheekbone. Your face turns to one of pure shock; sure, he’s flirted with you, but you never expected him to actually say that he _loved_ you. Dean just laughs at you before pressing his lips to yours again. This time, your almost too stunned to move.

           Dean coaxes your lips apart with his own and teases your tongue into his mouth. You begin mapping his out his mouth slowly, wanting to savor everything; the way he felt, the way he tasted, the way he looked at you like he was dying of thirst and you were the only drop of water he’d seen in days. One of his hands trails down your side and slips under your shirt. He pushes the material up slowly as his hand begins to slide back up your body.

           You push on Dean’s chest, making him back up so that you can move to a sitting position. He pulls your shirt over your head and tosses the material to the side. Reaching down, he pulls his both of his shirts over his head in one swift movement. At the same time, you reach behind you and unhook your bra before pulling it off and tossing it to the floor along with all three shirts.

           Dean’s eyes rake over you before his lips move to the skin of your neck. He sucks the skin lightly before moving down to your breasts. His lips close around one of your hardened nipples, tongue licking and flicking at it. One of his hands moves up to pay attention to the neglected breast, kneading the flesh and tugging at the nipple. You moan his name as your fingers trace over his muscular chest and arms. You trace the tattoo on his chest before your fingers stop on a strange feeling scar on his left shoulder. Dean pulls away from you and moves his hand to cover the spot you’d just touched.

           “Dean, what’s wrong?” you ask.

           “It’s a scar,” he says, “one I got when I was raised from Hell.” You pull his hand away from himself gently, revealing the scar underneath; a handprint. You place your hand over the scar; the handprint is bigger than your own.

           “Dean, it’s ok,” you tell him, “everyone has scars. Some are just more visible than others.” His eyes meet yours and you can see a sadness behind them as he gives you a halfhearted smile. You move yourself close to him again, never letting your hand fall from his shoulder. Your other hand snakes around to the back of his neck and pulls him towards you. You press your lips against his, more gently this time, waiting for him to feel comfortable enough to kiss you back.

           It takes Dean a few moments to respond, but when he does, it’s breath taking. His tongue thrusts into your mouth and his arms wrap around you. He pushes you back down to the bed and he hovers over you for a moment before he grinds his hips against you. With all of the layers of clothing between you, it’s difficult to feel anything, but you think you can feel his cock getting hard; heat courses through your body and pools in your center. One of his hands reaches down and undoes your pants.

           Dean sits up above you, running his hands down your body until his fingers hook in the waistband of your pants and panties. You lift your hips slightly and he pulls the material down in one swift movement, leaving you completely naked beneath him. If anyone else had looked at you the way he currently was, you’d feel self-conscious; but for some reason, he makes you feel comfortable. His hands move down to undo his own pants and you watch as he awkwardly tries to remove them. You can’t help but giggle as he fumbles in his own haste. He stands up from the bed and pushes his pants and boxers down, exposing himself to you. He turns to his bag on the floor and begins rummaging around before pulling out a condom and tossing it on the nightstand.

           The bed squeaks as Dean moves to reposition himself above you again. You reach down and take hold of his half hard member and begin pumping your hand over it slowly. Dean groans at the feeling and you can feel him getting harder with each thrust of your hand. He grabs your wrist and pulls your hand away from him before pressing it to the bed next to your head. His lips attach to your skin again and leave hot, wet, openmouthed kisses across your collarbone and up your neck. He presses his hips down, trapping his hard length between the two of you. You can feel sticky precum leaking from his tip and landing on your stomach.

“Dean, I want you,” you moan. Dean nods against the crook of your neck before reaching over to the nightstand to grab the condom. He rips the package open and rolls the condom onto his length. Placing one forearm on either side of your head, he hovers over you and uses his knees to push your legs apart. His moves in to kiss you again and you allow his tongue to slip back into your mouth. The tip of his cock presses against your entrance and you wrap your legs around his waist in an attempt to make him enter you. Dean smiles against your lips before thrusting into you in one swift movement.

You both sigh at the feeling of Dean stretching and filling you. He sinks in all the way to the hilt and allows you to adjust to his size before he begins to move. He sets a slow pace, allowing you to thrust your hips towards him in time with his rhythm. Everything is slow, like you’re both trying to learn how the other’s body moves and responds to their own. One of your hands snakes around to Dean’s back, trailing the nails along his skin. You other hand cards through his short hair, making it even more disheveled than it already was.

“Y/N,” he moans as his thrusts become faster. His lips press against yours sloppily as one of his hands twists into your hair and the other slips around the small of your back.

“Dean,” you moan back to him; your back arches off the bed, pressing your chest to Dean’s. His lips slide across your jaw and you turn your head to the side to give him better access.

“I love you,” he whispers before his lips connect with the sweet spot behind your ear. You moan loudly and pull Dean as close to you as you can. He shifts above you, causing him to enter you at a new angle that hits your g-spot with every thrust. You almost shout his name. Every thrust causes the coil in your stomach to tighten. Dean’s thrusts begin to fall out of sync with yours and you know you’re both close.

The room is filled with the symphony of whispers, moans, groans, grunts, and shouts accompanied by the creak of the bed and the slap of skin on skin as you both cum. Dean’s hips thrust erratically and your walls tighten around him. Pleasure rolls over you in waves. Dean rests his forehead against yours as you both try to catch your breath.

Dean pulls out of you and rolls to your side. The second he moves away from you, a wave of gilt washes over you. _What have I done?_ You loved Dean, but you loved Sam too. Dean’s arms wrap around you and pull you to him. Your head rests on his chest and your fingers trace over his tattoo.

“What’s wrong Y/N?” he asks, his emerald green eyes looking down at you in worry.

“Nothing,” you reply, “just thinking.”

The worry remains on his face as he asks his next question slowly, “What about?”

You don’t answer. Instead, you ask your own question, praying to God that there was some way to fix the mess you’d just made. “Do you really love me?” you ask, avoiding his gaze.

Two of his fingers hook under your chin and lift your gaze to his. “Yes,” he responds simply before adding, “of course I do, how could I not? You’re beautiful, smart, sarcastic, and funny. You’re willing to put up with my crap and damn, you can cook.”

“I’m not that good,” you say.

“I’ll be the judge of that,” he responds with a smile, “Bobby seems to like you, so that’s a plus in my book. You even get along with Sam.” That last part crushes you. You didn’t just get along with Sam, you loved Sam. No matter how much you loved Dean, you would always love Sam; there was no escaping it. You move to sit up on the bed, but Dean’s arms hold you tightly to him. “Just a little longer, please?” he asks. You snuggle in against his chest and smile halfheartedly against his skin.

“Ok, five more minutes,” you concede. Dean makes a grumbling, complaining noise. “Fine, ten minutes, max,” you say, “I have to have dinner cooked before they get back or they’ll know something was up.” You have to say ‘they’ because you find it impossible to say Sam’s name.

How could you tell Sam what you had done with Dean? You couldn’t; and you couldn’t tell either of them that you didn’t love them because that wasn’t true. The dilemma kept spinning around and around in your head, making you dizzy with confusion. _Is it even possible to love two people at the same time?_ You ask yourself this question over and over, always ending with the same conclusion. Obviously it was possible because here you were, lying in the arms of a man you loved while thinking about the man you loved equally as much. _They’re brothers for Christ’s sake, how could I do this to either of them?_ You knew you’d only wind up hurting one or both of them; but no matter what you told yourself, the fact remained that you loved them both.

Finally, you were able to wiggle your way out of bed, despite Dean’s protests. You clean yourself up and put your clothes back on before heading downstairs to begin fixing dinner. When you’ve got the ingredients in the pan on the stove, Dean steps up behind you and wraps his arms around your waist; his chin rests on your shoulder. He begins to sway your hips back and forth as his lips connect with your neck. You had to tell him, you had to.

“Dean, I …” you begin, but can’t finish your sentence.

“Yes?” he mumbles against your skin.

“I love you,” you finish, unable to tell him that you love Sam too. Dean smiles against your skin. You feel the need to change the subject so you grab a spoon and scoop up some food. “Here, taste,” you say, turning around half way to hold the spoon out to Dean. He takes the food from the spoon, locking his eyes with yours as he does so.

“Mmm, delicious,” he says, “almost as delicious as you.” You roll your eyes and laugh at him before he captures your lips with his again.

You hear a car pulling up next to the house and two car doors slam. Dean moves away from you quickly and plops himself on the couch in front of the TV. You hear the front door open and shout over your shoulder, “Dinner will be done soon!”

“Um, that’s ok Y/N, Dean and I have to go,” Sam shouts back, “Thanks anyway.”

Your heart shrinks a little; but at the same time, you’re relieved. You’re not sure you could handle sitting at a dinner table with the two men you love.

“We’re leaving _now_?” Dean asks, “But what about dinner?”

“We’ll pick some up on the way Dean,” Sam replies, “Bobby and I finally found the information we needed. I want this hunt over with, don’t you?” Dean grumbles but finally agrees and both brothers go to grab the bags they’d brought with them.

“What have you been up to?” Bobby asks as you continue cooking.

“Some TV,” you respond, “and cooking.” Before Bobby has a chance to question you any further, Dean and Sam are back in the living room, their bags in tow.

“You idgits be safe, you hear?” Bobby asks, giving each of the boys a hug in turn. You make your way to the living room and hug Sam while Bobby is talking with Dean.

“I’m sorry we didn’t get to spend more time together,” Sam whispers in your ear as his arms wrap around you, “We’ll be back soon, I promise. I love you.” He kisses you on the cheek, making your face turn light pink.

“I love you too,” you whisper back. He smiles at you before moving away to grab his bag from the floor. Dean moves to hug you next.

His arms wrap around you and squeeze you gently. “I’ll miss you,” he whispers, “I love you.” Dean kisses you on the opposite cheek from the one Sam had kissed, causing your face to turn even redder.

“I love you too,” you whisper, realizing it’s the exact same thing you had just said to Sam. Dean’s hands trail down your arms before he moves to pick up his bag and walk away.

You watch from the doorway as they both get in their car and drive away. You already missed them, both of them. “What the Hell did you do?” Bobby asks.

“What? Nothing,” you respond.

“I saw the way those two looked at you; and you looked right back at them the same way. I don’t know if they saw it or not, but I sure as Hell did,” he says.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you say, trying to cover up your feelings.

“Next time you see them, you have to tell them,” Bobby says, “you have to stop it before someone winds up getting hurt past the point of fixing.”

“I can’t, and you can’t say anything either,” you say.

“I’m not going to tell them a damned thing,” Bobby says, “that’s on you. Just know that if you don’t stop this soon, someone is going to get hurt; maybe even all three of you.”

“I know,” you say softly as you shut the door and lock it. Bobby watches you with narrowed eyes, waiting for you to say something more. “Dinner’s burning,” you say, making your way back to the kitchen.


	2. Too Late to Change Your Mind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please tell me you’re doing to do a part 2 to secret lovers. Because I need to know what happens next! It can’tend like that D: AND Oh sweet Jesus tell me you’re writing more of Secret Lovers AND ACK!!!! Secret Lover(s) was good but it ended on one Hell of a cliff hanger, will there be a part 2? Just a few of the many requests for a sequel!

Warnings: reader feels dumb, feelings of guilt, fluff, smut, name calling (demon calls reader names), cursing, appearance of dead family members, slight injury of reader, some spoilers if you’re not past season 4

A/N: F/I/C/F stands for your favorite ice cream flavor. 

Fic:

You sit at the desk in your room, staring blankly at the calculus problem that had been the bane of your existence for the past hour or so. Bobby had insisted you finish your education, though you didn’t see any point in it now. The only credits you had left to take were nine elective credits and three math credits. For electives, you were taking Norse mythology, Greek mythology, and comparative religions. Those three you could understand and you saw the significance they held for your new life, but calculus? The only point of calculus was to drive you insane day after day. There were more important things to worry about than calculus, but Bobby wouldn’t let you help on hunts until you finished your homework. You felt like a toddler being put in a time out. Bobby’s friends were being torn to pieces by vengeful spirits and here you sat, trying to understand math.

You sit in silence as frustrated tears stream down your face. All of the sudden, you hear the roar of Dean’s car. Well this is just fucking perfect, you think to yourself. The boys had been gone for about a month. You thought about them every day, both of them. They would text or call you daily and your love for each of them only grew. You feared seeing them again; you feared having to choose one brother over the other. What if you made the wrong choice? What if when they found out and they both decided they didn’t want you? 

These fears resurfaced the second you heard the car pull up. The tears streaming down your face progressed to sobs as the thought of hurting one or both of them crossed your mind yet again. Why now? Out of all the times they could’ve shown up, they choose when I’m already frustrated as Hell.

You hear the front door open and close and two sets of footsteps ascend the stairs and stop in front of your door. A knock sounds and Dean’s voice graces your ears, “Hey Y/N, it’s us, Sam and Dean. You in there?”

“Just a minute,” you say in a shaky voice.

“Y/N, what’s wrong?” Sam asks as the locked door handle twists.

“Nothing, I just need a minute,” you say as you pull your legs up and place your feet on the chair, wrapping your arms around your legs and resting your forehead on your knees.

“It sure as Hell ain’t nothing,” you hear Dean say as the door handle shakes. It stops and you know they’re picking the lock now. You bury your head further in your knees as the door swings open and the boys rush to either side of you. Two sets of hands run along your back and arms in an attempt to comfort you. “Tell us what’s wrong,” Dean says.

“I’m so stupid,” you sob. You’re not just referring to the calculus, but to the fact that you had managed to fall so completely in love with two men, brothers no less; not that they realized that.

“Hey, stop it,” Dean says, “I’m the high school drop out here.” You know he’s trying to help, but your sobs just continue.

“Dean, I don’t think you’re helping,” Sam says.

“Well it’s true!” Dean retorts.

Sam removes his hand from your arm and you hear the rustle of papers. “Calculus?” he asks. Your only response is the nod of your head.

“Dean, can you go downstairs and tell Bobby what’s been going on with us? Give me a few hours and I’ll have this fixed,” Sam says. He runs a hand over your hair.

Dean makes the same action before standing to leave the room. “You’re not stupid Y/N, no matter what you think,” he says before shutting the door behind him.

Finally alone with Sam, he places a hand on either side of your face and lifts your tear flooded eyes to meet his beautiful hazel ones. “You shouldn’t tell lies about yourself,” Sam says as his thumbs rub away the trails of water that tears have left down your cheeks. He leans in towards you and his lips press against yours. You know you should stop this, you should tell him about you and Dean, but you can’t, you don’t want to. His tongue slides into your mouth and you lose yourself in the kiss; it actually calms you down and stops your crying.

Eventually, you have to break the kiss in order to take a breath. “Calculus sucks trust me, I know,” Sam says as he kneels beside you. He picks up the short, eraser-less pencil lying on the desk and begins working on the problem. “You’ve almost got it,” he says, “You just need to rearrange a few things.” He makes a few marks on the paper before speaking again. “See, if you move this number over here and place the unknown here, you can break the problem apart and it makes it easier to get the derivative. Once you do that, you can take the derivative of this part, which is this, and then this part, like this, and -”

He makes it seem so easy that the feelings of stupidity return and force tears from your eyes again. He drops the pencil and grabs your face again, “Hey, no, don’t cry.”

“You make it seem so easy,” you sob.

“I’ve just done it so many times that I know what I’m doing.” Sam assures, “You’ll get it eventually, you just need some more practice.” Sam kisses your tears away before turning your whole body towards him, your legs falling on either side of his body. His tongue presses into your mouth again and his large hands travel down your sides to your waist.

You run your fingers through his hair, dragging your nails lightly along his scalp. He smiles against your lips as his hands slip under the hem of your shirt, his thumbs rubbing circles against your skin. I should stop this, you think to yourself, I should push him away and tell him about Dean. But you don’t. Your hands slip to the front of Sam’s flannel shirt and begin unbutton in the buttons.

When you’ve finally got his shirt unbuttoned, Sam grabs the hem of your shirt and lifts it over your head, you raise your arms to help him. He pulls his own shirt off and tosses it to the side while you use the opportunity to remove your sports bra.

Sam’s eyes drink you in, much the same way Dean’s had. It makes you feel awkward and ashamed. You pull your arms around your chest and try to cover yourself.

“Don’t,” Sam says, “please, I want to see you.” He takes hold of your wrists and moves your hands to his shoulders. He places his hands on your waist and begins leaving kisses up your stomach and between your breasts. He kisses one of your nipples before tugging on it lightly with his teeth and moving to do the same to the other one. One of his hands slides up to kneed one of your breasts while the other slides around to the back of your neck. His lips continue up to your collarbone and he sucks the skin between his teeth.

“Wait,” you say, “don’t leave any marks.” It’s too late; a light bruise is already blooming on your skin. Oh god, what if Dean sees, you can’t help but think.

“Sorry,” Sam says, “I won’t leave any more, I promise.” He continues kissing up your collarbone and up your neck, to your ear. “You have no clue how long I’ve been waiting for this,” Sam whispers, “I’ve thought about it every day since the day we were alone together. If Bobby and Dean hadn’t come back when they did, I would’ve fucked you right there on the table.”

Your eyes widen and heat pools in your core. Maybe Sam wasn’t as sweet and innocent as you thought he was. He drags his teeth along your earlobe before moving to look you in the eye. “You do want this right?” Sam asks. Ok, maybe he wasn’t innocent, but he was still sweet. 

“Yes, Sam, I want this. I want you,” you respond without even thinking about the consequences. He wraps your legs around his waist and lifts you up, carrying you to the bed. You can feel the bulge in his pants pressing against your cloth covered sex as he carries you. He lays you down at the edge of the bed, the springs creaking underneath you, your legs dangling over the side of the bed. Sam runs his fingers over your body from your cheeks all the way down to your waist. His fingers hook in the waistband of your sweatpants and underwear, tugging them down as you lift your hips from the bed to help him.

Sam inhales sharply at the sight of your fully naked body. “You’re so beautiful,” he says as he runs his fingers down your thighs. He moves his fingers to his belt and you watch as he unbuckles it and pulls it from its loops. His fingers move to the front of his pants. He undoes the button before unzipping them. He kicks his shoes off to the side and pushes his pants down his legs. He pulls his socks off and drops them to the floor before moving back up to remove his boxers. His hard cock springs free as he slides the material down his body.

“Sam,” you gasp when you see the size of his dripping cock. He’s bigger than Dean, not by much but it’s noticeable. You suppose it had to do with proportion. You push the thought out of your head, you shouldn’t be comparing them to each other, they’re brothers for Christ’s sake. Sam smirks down at you. “Condom,” you say, pointing to the drawer on your nightstand.

“Right,” Sam says before moving to the nightstand and rummaging through the drawer until he finds what he’s looking for. 

He opens the package and rolls the condom over his length before leaning down to wrap an arm around your waist. He pulls you up to the top of the bed, causing the springs to creak loudly. “Shit,” you complain, “try to be quiet.”

“That might be difficult,” Sam says with a chuckle.

“I’m serious,” you say, “I don’t want them hearing. Bobby might kill me.” You try not to even think about how Dean might react.

“I’ll try to be quiet,” Sam says, “I can’t make any promises about you though.” Sam smirks against the skin of your shoulder. He nudges your legs apart with his knees and settles between them. The bed creaks with every movement and it makes you insanely nervous. “Are you ok?” Sam asks, pulling away from you slightly.

“Yeah, just nervous,” you say. You smile as you wrap your fingers in his hair and pull him down to kiss his lips. One of his hands wraps in your hair and the other kneads one of your breasts. He rocks his hips towards you slowly, trying to keep the bed from rocking as much as possible. His hard cock slides between your dripping folds making you moan loudly. Your eyes go wide and you clap a hand over your mouth.

“See, what did I tell you?” he mumbles against your skin. Sam continues rocking his hips against you, sliding his shaft through your folds and rubbing his tip against your clit.

“Sam,” you whisper as he dips his tip into your entrance before pulling it back out. He does this several times and it finally frustrates you to the point that you wrap your leg around his waist and pull him towards you, making him enter you all the way to the hilt. Sam groans at your action and waits a moment before he begins moving slowly. He slides out and in, out and in, hitting every spot inside you perfectly.

Suddenly a knock sounds on the door, causing Sam to stop moving inside you. “Hey, Bobby and I are going on a supply run. Do you guys need anything?” Dean’s voice comes through the door.

“Um, no, I think we’re good Dean,” Sam says, trying to keep his voice as even as possible.

“Actually, could you pick me up a box of ice cream?” you ask, trying to sound like you’re still upset about the calculus problem.

“Sure,” Dean says, “What flavor?”

“F/I/C/F,” you reply. Sam gives you a dirty look and you know it’s because you kept Dean outside the door for longer than Sam would’ve liked.

“We’ll be back soon,” Dean says before walking away. 

Sam waits for Dean’s footsteps to recede down the hall before he begins moving again. Small moans escape your lips despite your efforts to hold them in. Eventually, you hear the car’s engine start up and the wheels turn on the dirt as the car pulls away. Sam groans loudly, “Fuck, Y/N, you feel so good.” Now that you’re alone, he doesn’t hesitate to thrust into you, hard and fast. The bed creaks loudly with every thrust. You had imagined Sam would be the gentler brother, but now you saw just how wrong you were.

“Sam,” you moan loudly over and over again. Sam crashes his lips against yours again, thrusting his tongue into your mouth and mapping it out. One of his hands trails down to your clit, rubbing harsh circles around it and bringing you to the edge of orgasm. Your nails run down Sam’s back, leaving light red marks behind as they go. Sam’s thrusts become erratic and the knot in your stomach breaks. Your back arches of the bed as Sam’s cock pulses inside you, sending you over the edge and tumbling down into the depths of pleasure. You shout each other’s names as you both cum, waves of pleasure washing over you as you fall back against the bed.

Sam pulls out of you and removes the condom before he moves to stand from the bed. At first you’re upset that he doesn’t wrap his arms around you and hold you. He moves to the desk, grabbing your homework, a textbook, and a pencil. Sam moves back to the bed, moving you to lie on your side. He moves to lay behind you and places your homework in front of you. He snakes on arm under your neck and the around your waist, pulling you tight against him. “Are you seriously going to try to teach me math after that?” you ask.

“Maybe it’ll help you remember what I show you,” he says before placing a kiss on your shoulder. He begins to show you how to do the problem again, this time explaining each step thoroughly. When you do something wrong, he corrects you gently and when you do something right, he kisses your neck or shoulder. When you finish the problem, and get the right answer, he turns your head towards him and kisses you deeply and passionately. “Try the next one,” he says. You follow his instruction and begin working on the next problem, then the next. The more problems you do, the easier they become. You stumble from time to time, but you’re able to finish the problems quicker than you were before. Within a half an hour, you’re solving calculus problems like a pro.

“Damn Sam, why can’t you be my professor?” you ask.

Sam chuckles against your skin. “My teaching methods aren’t exactly conventional,” he says, “and I don’t think our student/teacher relationship would be very appropriate.” You laugh as you turn over in his arms.

“Thank you Sam,” you say, “I feel so much better now.”

“See,” Sam says, “you’re not stupid. You just had a bad teacher.” You lean in to kiss him. “Come on,” he says, “we should get cleaned up before Dean and Bobby get back.”

***

You sit in the living room with Sam waiting for Bobby and Dean. Sam begins looking around wildly. “Sam, are you ok?” you ask, concerned. You turn to where Sam looks only to see a man – no, a ghost.

“You failed me Sam, you let me die,” the ghost says. Sam pushes you behind him defensively. 

“I’m sorry,” Sam says, “there was nothing I could do.” You look around for something to defend yourself and Sam with only for your eyes to fall on your parents.

Your mouth falls open and your eyes widen in shock. “It was your fault Y/N,” your mother says.

“If it wasn’t for you, we’d still be alive,” your father adds. Sam turns and pushes you behind him again. He backs up until you’re trapped between him and the wall. Looking around, you notice Dean’s hunting bag about three feet to your right. The ghosts move close in on you and you know you only have one chance. You push Sam’s arm away from the wall and throw yourself at the bag. You tug frantically at the zipper and throw the bag open. Thank God the first thing you see is Dean’s sawed off shotgun loaded with salt rounds. You turn yourself around and fire two rounds at the ghosts, two of them disappear, but the third keeps advancing. Your hand thrusts into the bag and Sam joins you as you look for another round. Sam finds one and loads the gun. You turn and shoot the last ghost, causing it to disappear.

Sam pulls out his phone and calls Dean. “Dean, we need you here now,” Sam says when Dean finally picks up. 

“We’re on our way,” Dean says before Sam hangs up the phone.

“Sam, what the Hell is going on?” you ask.

“We don’t know,” Sam replies, “we’re being haunted by the ghosts of people we couldn’t save.”

“Wait,” you say, “You’re telling me this has been going on for a while now and you let me cry over fucking calculus?”

“I thought they were only haunting Dean and me, I didn’t know it would affect you too,” Sam says as he searches for some iron. He finally finds a fire poker and a shovel made of iron and hands you one. You go to the kitchen and pull out the salt, bringing it back to the living room and spreading a circle on the floor, enclosing both you and Sam within it.

“He wasn’t haunting you while we were. . .” your words trail off.

“No!” Sam exclaims, “God, no.” Sam wraps his arms around you and leans down to kiss you. “Don’t worry, I’ll keep you safe,” Sam says protectively. He leans down to kiss you, helping to keep you calm. You’re so lost in the kiss that you almost don’t hear the door open. Your lips break from Sam’s quickly and you turn to see Dean holding a shotgun.

“Is it still just the one ghost?” Dean asks.

“Three,” you respond. Dean’s eyes flick behind you and he nods at Sam. Sam must’ve mouthed ‘parents’ or something like that because Dean rushes straight to you, pulling you into his arms.

“Everything is going to be alright,” Dean says, running his hand through your hair.

“Come on,” Bobby says, “let’s get this show on the road.”

***

Bobby had figured out the spell he needed to conduct in order to end the hauntings and you helped him set up the components of the spell. Dean and Sam tried to hold off the ghosts and suddenly, the demon named Meg shows up to try to keep you and Bobby from finishing the spell.

“Hello,” she says, looking at you, “you’re the little bitch that got away from the slaughter aren’t you?” You decide to start trying to distract her while Bobby continues the spell.

“What’s it to you?” you ask.

“Don’t worry, mutt, I’ll be back for you later, but right now I have more important things to attend to,” she says. 

“What?” you ask confused, especially by the name. Mutt? You weren’t a werewolf, you knew that for sure, so why would she call you that?

“I don’t have time for this,” she says, using her powers to throw you against the wall. Your head hits the wall, and the last thing you see is Meg going after Bobby.

***

“… Rising of the Witnesses,” you hear a deep voice say as your eyes flutter open to see Sam and Dean hovering above you on either side of your body.

“Bobby, she’s waking up,” Sam says.

“How do you feel?” Dean asks.

“Not too bad, why?” you respond.

“You were in a coma,” Sam says, “Cas healed you.”

“Cas?” you ask, you knew you’d heard that name before, but you couldn’t remember in what context.

Dean could see the confusion on your face. “He’s the one who …” his words trail off as his right hand moves up to his left shoulder. You nod in understanding as you move to sit up on the bed. Bobby stands at the end of the bed.

“Hey there, Y/N, take it slow, ok?” Bobby says. You smile and shake your head at him.

“Honestly, I feel fine,” you say. Your eyes flick to a stranger standing awkwardly in the corner of the room. He’s shorter than Sam and Dean, but just as handsome with his tousled hair and bright blue eyes. You slide out of the bed and walk towards him. “You must be Cas. I’m Y/N,” you say, extending your hand to him. He doesn’t respond, he just looks at your hand like it’s a foreign object. You raise your eyebrow at him and begin lowering your hand. Is there something wrong with me? you wonder to yourself. Perhaps the angel disliked you. Shit. You were in trouble if a soldier of God disliked you.

“For Christ’s sake,” Dean says, “It’s a handshake Cas. You’re supposed to hold your hand out and shake her hand.”

“Oh,” Cas says as Dean grabs Cas’ right wrist and raises it so you can shake his hand. With a kind smile, you take Cas’ hand and a strange sort of electricity spreads through your body.

Cas must feel the electricity too because his expression changes. His eyes brighten and a smile spreads across his face. "It’s very nice to meet you Y/N,” he says.

“It’s nice to meet you too Cas,” you respond.


	3. Digging Your Grave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader gets herself into deeper trouble when she realizes that there’s no way she can choose between Sam and Dean and it only gets worse when she admits to herself that she has feelings for Cas as well.

Warnings: SMUT!!! (3 separate scenes, this is mostly just smut), cheating, feeling of guilt, sex in public (but no one actually sees), fluff, angst, cursing

Fic: 

You lean over as you pull a pie out of the oven. Reaching down, you close the oven door and move to set the freshly baked pie on the cooling rack. Two arms snake around your waist and a chin comes to rest on your shoulder. “Something smells good,” Dean whispers, “what did you make?” The boys had decided to stay at Bobby’s house for a while in order to read up on the apocalypse before they headed out and started hunting again. You knew this would only lead to trouble, but you were happy that they had stayed.

“Apple pie,” you whisper back before turning in his arms, “This isn’t safe, you know, we could get caught.” You had told Dean that Bobby wouldn’t like it if he caught you with him; you had told the same thing to Sam. They both seemed to accept this and it only made it easier to hide the truth from the brothers. You weren’t proud of your actions, but you felt they were a necessary evil; and that was the scary part, the fact that you had come to terms with lying to them.

Dean smirks at you. “Fine, if you’re so worried about getting caught I’ll just find something else to do,” he says as he moves away from you. He opens a drawer and pulls out a knife, his eyes fixated on the pie the whole time.

“Hey! Don’t you dare, that has to cool first,” you say.

“But look at it,” Dean says, “It’s just sitting here, practically begging to be devoured.” You laugh and roll your eyes at his suggestiveness.

“What’s just begging to be devoured?” Sam asks as he walks into the kitchen.

You clear your throat before quickly responding with, “Pie.”

“I thought I smelled something delicious,” Sam says as he grabs a glass from the cupboard. Your body becomes tense, like it always does when you are alone in a room with the brothers. You were always afraid something would slip that would tell them what you had done.

“Well, since you’re going to torture me Y/N, I think I’m going to go wash Baby. Wanna lend me hand?” Dean asks.

“Or I could use some help researching Y/N,” Sam suggests.

You’re not sure how to respond, but luckily you don’t have to. “You’ve got Bobby to help you,” Dean says as he grabs your hand and quickly leads you to the door, “I need someone to help me.”

“Sorry Sam,” you mouth silently back at Sam with an apologetic look. Dean leads you away from the house and through the maze of Bobby’s junkyard until you find Dean’s car.

“So, why did you actually bring me out here?” you ask.

“To wash Baby,” he replies, “Though I may have had some ulterior motives.” He winks at you before grabbing some buckets and heading off to the water pump.

“She’s beautiful,” you say as you trace your fingers along the curve of the Impala’s hood. You’ve seen her from a distance, but never up close.

“Yeah, she is,” Dean replies, looking directly at you. You smile and blush before looking back at the car. The sun casts shadows that move across her hood when the wind blows through the nearby trees. Dean comes back to your side and places two buckets on the ground, one filled only with water and the other soapy.

Working together, you clean the car, first rinsing the dirt from her before using the soapy water to actually wash her. You look up from your work every once in a while only to see Dean watching you. Every time it happens, you smile and blush before looking back down at your work. The more you look up, the more you realize that Dean’s just standing there watching you while you do all the work.

“Stop staring,” you tell him before throwing your sponge at him. It hits him in the chest with a wet thud sound and splatters water across his black t-shirt. You laugh as he spreads his arms out and looks down at his shirt.

“What was that for?” he asks.

“You were just standing there, not doing any work,” you respond, “I thought maybe you lost your sponge and needed another one.”

“I’ll get you for this,” he says with a smile as a playful look invades his eyes. He moves towards the front of the car and you move towards the back as he begins chasing you. Quickly, he catches up. You squeal as his hand brushes your wrist when he reaches out for you, but you somehow manage to get away.

You run to the other side of the car, towards the front of the car. Dean mirrors you on the opposite side of the car. Both of you stop and stare at each other over the hood. He bends down slowly and your smile fades as you realize what he’s doing. Dean grabs the bucket of plain water and tosses the contents towards you. You barely have time to close your eyes and cover your face before the water washes over you. The cold liquid makes you squeal when it hits your skin.

You shake the water from your hands and try to wipe your face dry before ringing your hair out. As you wipe the water from your eyes, you feel Dean’s arms slip around your waist. “Payback’s a bitch, isn’t it?” Dean asks before kissing the sensitive spot behind your ear. He rocks his hips against you and you can feel his hard on prodding your back side through his jeans. “I’ve thought about you every day since we were together. I’ve missed you.” One of his hands slides down to your thigh and slips under the hem of the white and yellow sundress you’re wearing. His other hand slides up the nape of your neck so that his arm crosses your chest. “I love you,” he whispers, “I don’t get to say that often enough.”

“Dean,” you say as you rock your hips back towards him, “I love you too.” Dean flips you around in his arms and pulls you close before pressing his lips to yours gently. Taking hold of your hips, Dean guides you to the front of the car and helps you sit on the hood. He presses you back until you’re laying flat against the warm hood of the car. Dean pulls your dress up around your waist and pushes your legs apart before moving to stand between them.

Your hands move up to feel the muscle beneath Dean’s wet shirt and run through his hair. His tongue traces lightly across your bottom lip and you easily grant him access to your mouth. One of his hands tangles in your wet hair and the other slides up to the strap of your dress. He tugs the strap over your shoulder and down your arm before moving his lips to your neck and shoulder. He sucks the skin between his teeth and before you can tell him to stop he’s already left a mark. Damn it, you think to yourself.

Dean moves away from you to admire his work. “You’re so beautiful,” he says as his hand trails down over your collarbone, “What’s this?” His fingers trace over the mark that Sam had left on you and your eyes go wide.

“It’s nothing,” you say, “I burned myself with a curling iron a couple of days ago. It’s getting better though.” A lot of time, patience, and concealer had gone into covering up the mark, but the water had washed it all away.

“I’m sorry,” Dean says before he leans down and kisses the bruise, placing his lips exactly where Sam’s had been. His hand slips down between your bra and skin and pulls your breast from its confines. He moves his lips to your nipple and sucks it into his mouth, flicking it with his tongue and tugging it with his teeth. Dean’s hips roll against yours and you can feel his hard on pressing against your bare thigh.

Your hands reach down and tug at the hem of Dean’s shirt. He pulls away from you and peels the wet material from his body, exposing the muscle underneath. Dean pulls the other strap of your dress over your shoulder and down your arm before unhooking your strapless bra and tossing it on the hood of the car. He pushes the top of your dress down so that the material bunches around your abdomen.

The only other time you had been with Dean, he had been so shy, almost nervous. He wasn’t what you had expected him to be. This time, he seemed more confident and comfortable. You let your fingers run over his bare skin, caressing his scars and trying to show him that you loved every bit of him. That was what he needed after all, for you to show him that you love him, that you care.

Dean leans in to kiss you again and lets his hands travel down your sides. His fingers hook in the waistband of your panties and pull them down. You lift your hips to help him. Instead of tossing them off to the side, he stuffs them in his back pocket.

“I want those back,” you mumble against his lips.

“We’ll see,” Dean mumbles back with a smirk. His hands travel up your thighs and push the sundress over your head before he places a hand on your chest and presses you back against the hood of the Impala again. “You’re so beautiful,” Dean says as his dark eyes look down at you. He pulls a condom out of his pocket before his hands move to unbuckle his belt and undo his pants. He pushes the material down his legs, followed by his boxers. His hardened length springs free and you groan at the sight. He tears the package open and rolls the condom over his length before stepping closer to you again.

“Dean,” you moan as you reach out for him. He takes hold of your waist and slides you across the hood of the Impala until your sex is pressed right up against him. His cock slides between your soaking wet folds and his tip presses against your clit. Dean leans over you and cages you between him and the car. His large body covers yours as one of his hands tangles itself in your wet hair and the other slides over your body.

He rocks against you, pressing his hard cock against your sex and drawing noises from your lips. “You’re so wet Y/N,” Dean says, laughing lightly at his own joke.

“Yeah, and it’s all your fault,” you say back. He seems to like your response because the next thing you know, he’s pressing his cock into you. You moan loudly at the familiar feeling of him stretching and filling you. Your lips leave kisses along Dean’s shoulder as he begins pulling out of you. Dean nestles his face into the crook of your neck as he thrusts back in.

Your fingers trail up and down Dean’s back as he sets a slow pace that had enough intensity to make the Impala rock with every thrust. Dean’s hand trails down your body, caressing every inch of you that he could reach. It was amazing to you how a man who was so strong could be so gentle.

The coil in your stomach grows tighter as Dean’s thrusts speed up. You wrap your legs round him and give him a better angle at which to thrust. “It feels so good to be inside you again,” Dean groans. You smile against his skin and lift your hips, pushing him even deeper inside you. Dean grunts loudly and his grip on your hair tightens slightly, tugging at the roots. Your back arches off the car and presses your front firmly against Dean’s. His hand slips around to the small of your back and holds you close as he delivers his final few thrusts.

Each of Dean’s thrusts is more erratic than the last as you both draw close to the precipice. One final thrust has you both careening into the depths of pleasure as you both cum at the same time, Dean pulsing inside you as your walls clench around him. You both shout each other’s names and you can only hope it’s not loud enough for anyone to hear. Dean stills above you and his lips ghost along your skin until they meet your own lips. You press your tongue into his mouth as you run your hands over the length of his body. He tastes like whisky and spice, apple pie spice.

You break away from him. “Why do you taste like apple pie?” you ask suspiciously.

“I may or may not have sneaked a piece while you were talking to Sam,” Dean responds with a smirk, “It was just a slither of a piece, I promise.”

“Uh huh,” you respond as you push him away playfully. He slides out of you and removes the condom before pulling his boxers and pants back up. You hook your bra back on and pull your dress back over your head. Dean grabs his shirt and pulls it on. You notice he’s failed to offer your panties back to you.

You grab the front of Dean’s shirt and pull him towards you, your lips crashing with his. Your arms snake around Dean’s body and travel down to his back pocket. You snatch your panties out of his pocket and swiftly move away from him so you can slip them on. Dean just laughs at you.

Once you’re both dressed, you decide to finish washing the Impala. When you’re done, the Impala’s paint gleams. Dean steps up behind you and wraps his arms around your waist. The two of you are reflected in the Impala’s windshield. You watch as Dean leans down and kisses the mark he’s left on your shoulder. “Can I have some more pie now?” Dean asks and you laugh as your head falls back against his shoulder.

“I suppose,” you say before wiggling out of Dean’s arms. There was one thing you had to do before you got back to the house. While Dean’s back is turned, you pick up the bucket of water and splash the contents over him.

“Oh, come on!” Dean shouts.

“Payback’s a bitch, isn’t it?” you ask, mocking his words, before you take off running towards the house. Dean chases after you until you reach the house and burst through the front door.

Sam and Bobby look up at you as you stumble through the door. Dean stumbles in after you and you both stop laughing as Bobby’s gaze grows angry. You can tell he knows what you’ve been up to.

“Are you two idgits just gonna stand there and drip water all over my floor?” Bobby asks angrily.

“Sorry,” both you and Dean mumble as you bow your head and go up to your room to get changed.

***

The next day, you find yourself in the town’s library with Sam, Dean, and Bobby. The four of you are trying to read everything you can to find information about the apocalypse. Dean sits next to you, Sam across from you, and Bobby catty-cornered from you. Dean’s thigh is pressed against yours and Sam keeps playing footsie with you under the table. Bobby shoots you angry glances across the table. He’s told you over and over again to make a choice before someone gets hurt, but there’s no way you can make up your mind. You’re too in love with both of them to choose between them.

Sam gets up from the table and walks off, disappearing in the shelves of books. After about ten minutes, he returns empty handed. “Y/N, I’m looking for this book and I can’t find it. Can you help me?” Sam asks when he gets back to the table.

“Sure Sam,” you say as you stand from your chair. You follow him between the bookcases and begin to wonder where he’s taking you. “Sam, where are we going?” you ask, “Isn’t the religious section that way?” You point towards the other end of the library.

“We’re not going to the religious section,” Sam says, “Come on, you’ll see.” Sam grabs your hand and leads you to the furthest corner of the library, the romance section. Suddenly, Sam grabs your hips and pushes you back against the bookshelf. His lips crash into yours and he thrusts his tongue into your mouth. His hands press under the hem of your shirt and his fingertips press into your skin.

“I don’t think you took me to the right section for this,” you say, “Were you looking for the erotica section?” Sam laughs against your lips as his hands move up to your cloth covered breasts. He kneads you through the fabric before his hands slip back down your body.

His fingers move to unbutton your pants and he kneels down as he pulls the material down your legs. He pulls off your shoes and helps you step out of your pants before he pulls down your panties. Sam stands back up and pulls a condom out of his pocket, he holds it between his teeth as his hands move to undo his own pants. Jesus Christ, do these boys just expect to get fucked wherever they go?

He pushes his boxers down and his hard cock springs free. Sam rolls the condom on before he presses himself against you. One of his hands fists your hair and the other lifts one of your legs around his waist. He rocks his hips against yours, rubbing his cock against your clit. The thought of being out in public like this both terrifies and exhilarates you. You can feel yourself getting wet as his other hand moves down to lift your other leg around him as well. One of your hands twists into Sam’s hair and the other grips the bookshelf as Sam shifts you higher up.

Sam presses your back against the shelf, it’s not exactly comfortable, but you’re not complaining. Sam shifts and slides into you in one swift stroke. You moan at the feeling and Sam presses his lips to yours, swallowing the sound. “You’ve got to be quiet, can you do that?” Sam mumbles against your lips.

“I’ll try,” you whisper. Sam pulls almost all the way out of you before pressing back in. His thrusts start out slow, but soon gain in speed and intensity. You loved how rough he could be; a stark contrast to his brother. Sam’s grip on you tightens as he thrusts into you harder. Thank God the bookshelf was pressed against the wall; otherwise it might have fallen over by now. You moan loudly and Sam claps his hand over your mouth.

“Gotta be quiet Y/N,” Sam whispers in your ear as he continues to thrust into you vigorously. The way he has you pinned against the bookcase with his hand covering your mouth only serves to turn you on even more. He grunts softly as his thrusts become more and more erratic. Your walls clamp down around him as the knot in your stomach breaks.

“Sam,” you moan from behind his hand. One more hard thrust has Sam pulsing inside you. He bites down on your cloth covered shoulder in an attempt to keep himself quiet, but a soft groan still escapes his lips.

Sam removes his hand from your mouth and replaces it with his lips. “I’ve been waiting to get you alone again,” Sam mumbles, “After the first time, it only made me want you more.”

“Sam,” you whisper, “we should probably put our clothes back on. We are in public after all.” Sam mumbles some incoherent words against your lips before he pulls out of you. Both of you hurry to put your clothes back on and clean yourselves up as best as you can.

Sam runs his fingers through your hair and smoothes it out before leaning down to kiss your lips. “I love you Sam,” you whisper.

“I love you too Y/N,” Sam whispers back, “I just wish I could have you to myself more often.”

“Me too,” you whisper back. Sam’s tongue snakes into your mouth and you’re content to be wrapped up in his arms like this.

“I wish we didn’t have to sneak around,” Sam mumbles.

“Sam, I-I just don’t want Bobby finding out,” you respond, pushing away from him slightly.

“Would it be so bad if he did?” Sam asks.

“I don’t think he’d be happy about it,” you say, “He’s taken me in and treated me like a daughter. He’s treated you like a son. What if he’s not happy about us being together?”

“He’ll learn to deal with it,” Sam replies.

“Sam, please” you beg, “Don’t say anything. Don’t tell Bobby … or Dean.”

“I won’t tell anyone if you don’t want me to,” Sam says, “I just wish we didn’t have to hide how we feel about each other.”

“So, where do you want to start looking for that book?” you ask, trying to change the subject.

“I already found it,” Sam confesses as he gestures to a book on one of the nearby tables, “I just wanted an excuse to get you to myself.”

You laugh a little louder than you probably should. A librarian hears you and peaks her head around a bookshelf, shushing you. You bite your lip and try to stifle your laughter. When she’s gone, Sam leans down and whispers in your ear, “If only she knew what we’d just done.” Your giggles return.

Sam grabs the book from the table and takes your hand, leading you back to the table where Bobby and Dean are still researching. You let go of Sam’s hand before you’re within viewing range of the table. Dean looks up as you and Sam approach. “You find it?” Dean asks.

Sam holds up the book and nods his head. “Geze Sam, Y/N’s a better researcher than you are. I think I might have to replace you,” Dean says with a goofy smile.

“You don’t want to give her up, do you Bobby?” Sam asks, “We’d be happy to take her off your hands.” Sam ruffles your hair as he walks past you to the opposite side of the table. Bobby mumbles some incoherent words. Even though you can’t tell what he’s saying, you know he’s not happy.

***

A few days have gone by since the Winchesters left Bobby’s house. They were headed to Colorado and wouldn’t be back for a while. Bobby had had a “conversation” with you as soon as they left. He called it a conversation, you called it judgment.

“You’re digging yourself a deeper grave Y/N,” Bobby told you, “The longer you wait to tell them, the more pain you’ll cause both them and yourself.”

“You think I don’t know that?” you asked, “I love both of them and I can’t choose between them.”

“Then you’ll have to choose neither,” Bobby said.

“Don’t say that,” you had responded. You turned your back on him and locked yourself in your room.

Days had gone by since that conversation and during that time, your conversations with Bobby had been few and far between. He had been absent from the house lately and the only real interaction you had had been with Castiel.

The first time he had appeared in your room, it had scared the shit out of you. You hadn’t been expecting him yet there he was, standing awkwardly in the middle of your room. He had told you that Dean and Sam had asked him to check up on you every once in a while. You weren’t sure why they had asked this of him, but you were glad to have some company.

Sitting alone in your room now, you think back on the events of the last few days. You knew Bobby was going to be angry with you until you made a choice, but you couldn’t make up your mind. Having Cas around didn’t exactly help either. The more time you spent with him, the closer you became. There was a strange attraction between the two of you that you had felt ever since the moment he shook your hand. Honestly, you were falling in love with him, but you refused to let it show. Being in love with two men was bad enough, but three? You couldn’t help but wonder what was wrong with you.

You hear the flap of wings behind you as you sit at your desk working on homework. “Hello Y/N,” a deep voice says.

“Hey Cas,” you respond as you turn around to face him, a wide smile on your face.

“What are you doing?” Cas asks curiously.

“Homework,” you respond simply.

“What is ‘homework,’” Cas asks.

“It’s work they assign in class for you to do at home,” you explain, “I have to read these Norse poems and write a paper about them.”

“Oh,” Cas says, “Does this homework serve a purpose other than consuming your time outside of class?” You laugh at his question.

“Sometimes I ask myself the same question,” you respond with a chuckle. Cas offers you an awkward smile as if he’s unsure whether he should laugh along with you or not.

“May I sit?” Cas asks, gesturing to the bed.

“Sure,” you say as you move to sit by him on the bed.

“Can I ask you something?” Cas asks after you had both settled on the bed. You nod your head, telling him to go ahead. “You have feelings for the Winchesters, do you not?” he asks, a hint of sadness invading his voice.

“Yes, I do,” you confess. You feel comfortable enough with Cas to tell him the truth.

“Are your feelings for me in any way similar to your feelings for them?” he asks.

“Cas,” you gasp.

“I understand if they are not,” Cas says, “but I had hoped.” His eyes drop to his lap where he wrings his hands. You reach up to caress his face, bringing his gaze to yours. The strange electric feeling spreads through your body as you touch his skin.

Don’t you dare say it, you tell yourself, but it’s too late, the words escape your lips despite what you’ve told yourself. “Cas, I-I have feelings for you; but I was afraid to tell you. It’s hard enough to be in love with two men, let alone three,” you respond.

“You have feelings for me?” Cas asks in a hopeful tone. You nod your head and swallow hard. Cas’ hand reaches up to take yours. He brings your hand to his lips and presses a kiss against your palm. The electric feeling within you intensifies.

“Cas, why do I feel this tingling, electric feeling when you touch me?” you ask. It’s probably a stupid question, but you really do want to know the answer.

“It’s a sign,” Cas responds simply.

“What kind of sign?” you ask.

“A sign that you are my true mate,” Cas replies. You gasp.

“Mate?” you ask.

“Yes,” Cas says, “Every angel has a true mate, rarely are they human. The feeling, tingling as you described it, is the feeling of my grace attempting to connect with your soul.” You’re actually speechless. You were an angel’s mate, not just any angel, Castiel. “I understand if you do not want me,” Cas says, “Just because you are my mate does not mean that I am yours. I understand if you prefer the Winchesters to me.”

There’s a tight feeling in your throat that keeps you from speaking. Cas hangs his head and the sight of him so vulnerable like this forces words past your lips. “Cas, I love you, but I love Sam and Dean too. Even if I chose to be your mate, I wouldn’t stop loving them,” you tell him.

“You could be my mate and still love them,” Cas tells you, “Just because you are my mate, it does not mean that you cannot be with them as well.”

Your brow furrows as you mentally kick yourself. You wanted Cas, you loved him as much as you loved the Winchesters, but how could you possibly be in love with all three of them at the same time. Cas leans in and brushes his lips against yours before pulling away.

“Was that correct?” he asks, examining your face and waiting for your reaction.

“Cas,” you sigh, “Does being in love with three people at the same time make me a bad person?”

Cas smiles at you and strokes your cheek before he responds. “Y/N, your soul is the purest I’ve ever seen. Perhaps being able to love more than one person shows how accepting you are.”

“I do love you Cas, but what about Sam and Dean?” you ask.

“They do not need to know,” Cas tells you, “In fact, I would prefer if they did not.”

“Why?” you ask, dumbfounded.

“I love you Y/N, and would prefer to keep my love for you between us and us alone,” Cas responds. You laugh at what Cas has told you; it was almost the exact opposite of what Sam had wanted. Cas looks away, as if he’s afraid that he’s said something wrong.

“Castiel,” you say softly as you reach out to lift his gaze to yours again. His blue eyes seem to hold a glimmer of hope and a small smile graces his lips.

“I prefer when you say my whole name rather than the shorter name Dean has given me,” Cas tells you. You swallow hard before you say your next words. You know you shouldn’t do what you were about to do, but for some reason you can’t stop yourself.

“I love you Castiel,” you say before you press your lips against his. You coax your tongue into his mouth. The taste of him is strange, it’s so many flavors all rolled into one; there’s cinnamon and nutmeg, vanilla, fruit, and a few other tastes you can’t seem to put your finger on. Your hands slide to the nape of his neck and play with the short hairs there. Cas’ hands wrap around you slowly, as if he’s unsure what to do. One of his hands rests against the small of your back while the other moves up to tangle in your hair.

Suddenly, it’s as if something instinctual has kicked in. Cas flips you onto your back and hovers above you, the bedsprings creaking in protest. His hands travel over your body as he presses his tongue into your mouth, taking control of the kiss. One of his hands travels down to your thigh and lifts your leg so that it hooks around his waist. “Are we having sex now?” Cas asks. His tone is so serious that it’s adorable.

“No Castiel, not yet,” you respond.

“Then how does it happen?” he asks, genuinely confused.

Your hands fly to the lapels of his trench coat and tug at the material. “First off, we have way too many clothes on,” you begin. Cas waves his hand causing all of your clothing to disappear. “Cas!” you exclaim as you move your hands to cover your naked body.

“Why do you hide yourself?” Cas asks, “You said we had on too many articles of clothing, so I removed them for you.”

You laugh and roll your eyes at him before pulling him down to kiss him again. You hook your leg around him and flip him so that he’s flat on the bed. “Stay here,” you instruct as you move to your drawer and pull out a condom. You move back to the bed and straddle Cas. Taking his length in your hand, you pump your hand over him a few times, feeling him growing hard with each thrust of your hand. There would be time to take things slow and explore each other later; but right now, you had an intense need for him to be inside you.

“Y/N, w-what are you doing?” he asks, “It-it feels strange.”

“It’s called an erection,” you explain, “Do you like the way it feels?” Cas swallows hard and nods as he watches your hand work on him. Every stroke of your hand and every sound that falls from Cas’ lips only makes you wetter. You rub your thumb across his tip, collecting the precum that’s accumulated there and causing Cas’ head to fall back against the bed with a loud groan. You reach for the condom and tear the package open before rolling it over Cas’ length.

“What is that?” Cas asks.

“It’s a condom,” you tell him, “It’ll keep me from getting pregnant.” Cas nods and allows you to continue. He props himself up with his elbows as he watches you position yourself over him.

You line him up with your entrance and sink down onto him slowly. Cas groans loudly at the feeling of being inside you and you moan right along with him. He felt so good inside you, it felt right somehow, as if he was made for you, or perhaps you were made for him. You were his mate after all.

Your hips rock against him, drawing loud noises from his lips. Cas’ hips lift up from the bed as he thrusts himself into you. After a time, your pace seems to become too slow for him. While still inside you, he flips you onto your back and settles between your legs. He thrusts into you at a fast pace that has the knot in your stomach pulling tight within seconds.

“Y/N,” he groans loudly as his thrusts become harder and faster. You pull him down towards you and his lips crash against yours. One of his hands holds your hip tightly while the other fists in your hair. You drag your fingernails down his back, leaving trails as you go. Your lips break from his and move to leave kisses along his neck and shoulder.

One particularly hard thrust causes the knot in your stomach to break and your walls clench down around him. The electric feeling he causes within you only intensifies your orgasm. “Castiel!” you cry out as you cum. Pleasure floods your body.

Cas’ thrusts continue and they don’t slow down. Before long, you’re right on the edge of orgasm again. You grip his shoulders tightly as his thrusts become more and more erratic. “Y/N,” he shouts as he pulses inside you. A bright light emanates from him and you’re forced to close your eyes. Cas’ climax sparks your own and your walls clench around him again, causing you to cry out. This orgasm is even more intense than the first and you fall limply to the bed as bliss washes over you. The light emanating from Cas fades and you’re able to open your eyes again.

Cas pulls out of you and rolls to your side before waving his hand and cleaning you both up. His arms wrap around you and pull you to his chest. “Did I do that correctly?” Cas asks.

“Perfectly,” you respond, “What was that light; if you don’t mind me asking?”

“I showed my wings,” Cas says, his face turning red, “I have never felt those feelings before and I did not know how to control myself.”

You smile at the thought of defiling an angel, especially since that angel was Castiel. You might be going to Hell for that, but you’d done a lot of other things that could land you in Hell, so you really didn’t care.

Cas’ hands run over your body, lulling you to sleep. “Does this mean your grace has combined with my soul?” you ask with a yawn.

“No,” Cas says, “That requires other rituals. This ritual, however, is one that I very much enjoy.”

You laugh as you snuggle into Cas’ chest, but you can’t help but feel guilty. If being in love with both Sam and dean was digging a grave, then falling in love with Castiel was like digging a hole all the way to Hell. There was no getting out of this.

What would Sam and Dean say if they knew all the things you had done? What would they do? Cas knew everything you had done and he didn’t seem to care. He didn’t seem to care if you kept on doing them either. Would the Winchesters react the same way or would they hate you for your actions? You couldn’t help but wonder all of this as you drifted to sleep in Cas’ arms.

Despite all of your uncertainty, there was one thing you knew for sure; Bobby would kill you if he found out.


	4. Hearts May Get Broken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bobby keeps telling the reader to make a choice about who she wants to be with, but the reader keeps putting it off. The reader then leaves to go on her first big hunt with Sam and Dean, which doesn’t go very well.

Warnings: Angst, injury of reader, mentions of blood, cursing

Fic: 

“You’ve got to tell them,” Bobby says angrily, “I told you to choose one of them, not add another one to the harem you’ve got going.” Bobby found out about you and Cas when he came home earlier than expected one day. Needless to say, he was not happy when he found out. Ever since then, he’d been nagging you about making a choice. You neglected to tell him about the whole ‘true mate’ situation with Cas because you knew what he would say. You knew he would tell you to chose Cas and let Sam and Dean go. Maybe he was right, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it.

“Bobby, please, you don’t understand,” you beg as you pack your bag. Sam and Dean were on their way to pick you up for a hunt. You hadn’t planned on going at first, but after you found out killing demons was involved, you jumped at the chance to go. Even though you had no clue why those demons had killed your family, you wanted to kill every last demon you could get your hands on. Your current situation with Bobby only made you want to get out of the house even more.

“I don’t understand?” Bobby asks, “I think it’s you that don’t understand. Now you’ve got three people thinkin’ you’re in love with them.”

“I am,” you say helplessly, “I’m in love with all three of them.”

“You know this isn’t healthy right?” Bobby asks, “I see how you worry about them constantly while they’re away. If you don’t choose one you’ll wear yourself out worrying about them all.”

“Bobby, do you honestly think that choosing one would make me stop worrying about the others?” you ask, “Sam and Dean are like sons to you right? Could you choose a favorite if you had to?”

“The thing is, I don’t have to,” Bobby retorts, “I ain’t sleeping with them and another man to boot.”

“But let’s say you chose Dean as your favorite,” you say, “Would you stop caring about what happens to Sam?”

“That’s not the point,” Bobby argues.

“It is the point,” you respond, “Even if I choose one, I’ll still love the others.”

“What about when they find out?” he asks, “You think that’s going to go over well?”

“I don’t know,” you say. Thankfully, you hear the roar of the Impala as it pulls up to the house. You grab your bag and head towards the front door. Bobby follows after you.

“You can’t keep this going forever, you realize that right?” he asks, “At some point, they’re going to find out and they aren’t going to be happy about it.”

“I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it,” you respond, “Or maybe I’ll just burn it.”

Bobby reaches out and hugs you. “Whatever you do, be safe,” Bobby says. You roll your eyes, but you hug him back. If there’s one thing you don’t want to do, its leave a friend on bad terms.

You rush to the car and hop into the back seat before Sam or Dean even have a chance to get out. Your bag gets tossed on the seat beside you. Dean turns around and hugs you, his arms wrapping tightly around your body. Sam turns and hugs you as soon as Dean lets you go, his hug lasts longer than it probably should in front of his brother. Bobby stays by the doorway, arms crossed and eyes narrowed.

“Hey Y/N,” Dean says as he looks out the window, “What’s up with Bobby?”

“We got into a fight,” you respond.

“What about?” Sam asks.

“He doesn’t think I’m ready to go on this hunt,” you respond. It’s not exactly false. Bobby had been training you, but he still hadn’t taken you on any big hunts yet. He said you didn’t have enough training to prepare you for all the crap that was out there.

Dean nods in understanding before he rolls down the window. “Don’t worry Bobby, we’ll take good care of her!” Dean shouts. He turns the car back on and waves as he pulls away from the house. Bobby just glares at you until you’re out of view.

“So,” Dean says as he focuses on the road, “Aside from the fight with Bobby, which I’m sorry about by the way, how’s it going?”

“Good,” you respond, “I’ve only got a few months of classes left before I graduate and I think my hunting skills are improving, even if Bobby doesn’t think so. The fight wasn’t your fault, you shouldn’t be sorry.”

“I was the one who convinced you go on this hunt with us, so it is my fault that Bobby’s mad at you,” Dean says.

“Dean,” you reply as you reach forward and place a hand on his shoulder, “None of this is your fault.” You wanted to tell him, and Sam, the real reason Bobby was angry with you, but it didn’t seem like a good idea to tell them before a hunt. You talk with Sam and Dean as the three of you head down the road, getting closer to your destination with every passing minute. You’re not sure how you’ll deal with being alone with the two of them for several days straight, but you’re sure you’ll figure it out. You’ve been able to keep you relationships with them a secret for some time now; you can only hope you’ll be able to keep it for a long time to come.

“So, when we get to the motel, are we getting one room or two?” Sam asks looking between you and Dean.

“Two,” you respond as if it’s the obvious answer, “There’s no way I’m sharing a room with the two of you.”

“Why? Afraid you’d have to decide which one of us to share a bed with?” Sam asks teasingly. Shit. does he know something? you ask yourself as his eyes flick to the side view mirror to watch your reaction.

“No,” you respond as calmly as possible, “I’d just hate to make you two share a bed while I had the other one all to myself.”

“There’s a quick fix for that,” Dean says playfully, “Sam and I will take the beds and we’ll banish you to the couch.”

“What ever happened to chivalry?” you joke.

“The three of us could just share a bed,” Sam suggests, “You wouldn’t mind, would you Y/N?” A deep blush spreads across your face.

The rest of the ride is extremely uncomfortable for you, though the Winchesters seem to be enjoying themselves. They both make suggestive comments the whole time. You do your best to counter them, but you can’t help but wonder if they know your secret.

When you finally reach the motel you discover that there’s only one room left, much to your dismay. You’re not looking forward to the awkwardness of being around both of them both day and night. Sam claims one of the beds, saying that he’s the taller brother and therefore can’t sleep on the couch. Thankfully, Dean insists that you take the other bed while he sleeps on the couch.

The three of you settle in and prepare for bed, after the long drive all you want to do is sleep. Apparently neither Sam nor Dean have any shame because they both strip right in front of you. They both get down to their boxers before putting on pajama pants. You try to ignore the way their bare chests look, but you find it difficult. A blush creeps across your cheeks and you avert your eyes to the contents of your bag.

You pull out a pair of sleeping shorts and a tank top. Had you known you would have to share a room with the boys, you would’ve packed something that showed a little less skin. You run off to the bathroom, not willing to change in front of them. After changing you look at yourself in the mirror, wondering how you’d gotten into this mess. Thank God for Castiel not being here, because that would only make things about a billion times harder for you.

You leave the bathroom and pull back the sheets before slipping into bed. The sheets are scratchy and uncomfortable against your skin. Both Sam and Dean tell you good night before you turn out the lights. The lights from outside flicker and cast shadows across your face. You toss and turn, trying to chase after a bit of shut eye, but you can never seem to find it. Sam snores lightly from his bed, letting you know that he’s fast asleep. You can hear the creek of the couch as Dean shifts uncomfortably, unable to find sleep as well.

“Dean,” you whisper as you sit up on the bed. He turns to face you and props himself up on his elbow.

“Sorry,” he whispers back, “I can’t get comfortable, am I keeping you awake?”

“No,” you respond, “I can’t sleep either. Do you want to change places? You should be able to sleep if you can. I’m not going to be able to sleep anyway.”

“It’s fine,” Dean says, “I’ll fall asleep sooner or later.” Despite what Dean was telling you, you still felt bad about taking the bed when he would get better use out of it than you.

“If you don’t want the bed for yourself would you want to share it?”

“What about Sam? I thought you didn’t want anyone to know about us.”

“Don’t worry about it,” you say, “I’ve got a plan.” As soon as Dean fell asleep, you were going to slip out of bed and take his place on the couch.

“You’re sure?” he asks.

“Dean, get over here before I change my mind,” you respond. You lift the covers and gesture for him to get into bed. He stands from the couch and tries to tiptoe towards you as silently as he can. Dean slips between the covers and instantly wraps his arms around you, pulling you snugly against his chest. You reach up and caress his face, his stubble scratching lightly at your skin. You press a chaste kiss against his lips before telling him to go to sleep. He nods and closes his eyes. You watch the flickering lights from outside flit over his features as he drifts off to sleep.

His breathing becomes heavy and you know he’s drifted off to sleep. You carefully try to wiggle your way out of his arms, but they wrap even tighter around you. Shit, you think to yourself. You knew you had to get out of Dean’s arms before Sam saw, but with the way Dean was holding you, it seemed impossible. You spend half the night lying awake and stressing about Sam seeing the two of you lying together like this. Finally, around two in the morning, Dean rolls over in his sleep and his arm slips from your waist. You use the opportunity to hop out of bed and make your way silently to the couch.

Sitting there on your own, you look between Sam and Dean, as well as think about Castiel. How could you ever choose one over the other two? Each of them had something that drew you to them and they were each perfect in their own way, despite the flaws they saw in themselves. You loved each of them but you knew that the longer you drew this out, the more pain you would cause them.

As soon as this hunt is over, you tell yourself. That’s when you’d tell them. It broke your heart to think about it, but it had to be done. You loved them and they deserved to know, even if you lost them, even if they hated you for what you’d done. You’d tell them that you love both of them and that you love Castiel. Then it would be up to them, they would decide what happened from there.

You spend hours trying to sleep, but you never fall under. As the sun rises, you decide there’s no point in trying anymore. You get up and grab your bag before heading off to the bathroom and getting ready for the day. When you come back, the boys are still asleep. You decide to go out and get some coffee and breakfast for the three of you.

The trip gave you a few minutes alone to think. You tried to walk through what you would say to them and how they would react. Thinking about all the ways they might react, very few were positive.

You make your way back to the motel room carrying a travel tray with coffee and a bag of food. With one hand, you open the door to find Sam and Dean talking. “… in her bed?” Sam asks. He coughs loudly when he realizes you’re in the room.

“Hey Y/N,” Dean says as he pulls his shirt over his head, “We wondered where you got off to. Thanks for the food!”

“No problem,” you say weakly as you pull a breakfast sandwich out of the bag and hand it to Dean along with a cup of coffee. Your hands shake as you hand him the food.

“Are you ok Y/N?” Dean asks.

“You’re shaking,” Sam ever so helpfully observes.

“I’m fine,” you respond, “It’s just nerves. My first big hunt ya know?”

Dean puts down his food and places his hands on your shoulders. “You’re going to do great,” Dean promises. You give him a half smile.

“Y/N, if you’re not ready, just tell us,” Sam says, “You don’t have to go if you don’t want to.”

“Thanks Sam, but I’ll be fine,” you respond. Sam nods at you and the three of you sit down for breakfast so you can go over the final details of the hunt.

You head out later that day, hoping to arrive at the abandoned warehouse around dusk. The one upside to not being able to sleep all night is that Sam and Dean let you sleep in the backseat of the car during the ride. Sleeping the whole time allows you to avoid the continuation of the awkward conversations you had with Sam and Dean the day before.

“Hey, Y/N, we’re almost there,” Sam says, shaking you gently. You yawn and rub the sleep from your eyes. Within a few minutes, Dean parks the car and the three of you get out and prepare yourself for the hunt.

“Just stick close to us,” Dean says, “We’ll watch out for you.” He ruffles your hair as he walks past you.

“Dean!” you complain halfheartedly. You follow the boys to the back of the abandoned warehouse where they let you pick the rusty lock and show off some of the skills you’d learned.

“See, I told you you’d do great,” Dean whispers. You follow Sam and Dean into the warehouse, gun at the ready.

The three of you go room by room, taking out demon after demon. You work as a perfect team. It’s like you can all predict each other’s actions before you make them. Everything seems to be going well, almost too well, until you enter the main room. Meg stands there, just waiting for you.

“Hello again, Mutt,” she says, “Long time no see.” You narrow your eyes at her.

“What do you want from me?” you ask as you, Sam, and Dean try to circle around her. She rolls her eyes and with a flick of the wrist, she flings Sam and Dean against the wall and pins them there. The door behind you slams shut. You spin to see four demons have entered the room and locked you in.

“You have no clue how important you are do you?” she asks, “If you ask me, you’re more use to us alive than dead, but Lilith doesn’t see it that way. See, she wants you dead; she thinks you’re a liability. I’ll offer you a onetime deal to change her mind.” You don’t answer. Instead, you glare at her and grip your gun tighter. You had no clue what she was talking about.

“You have two choices,” she continues, “Choice one, both you and your precious Winchesters can die slow, painful deaths. Choice two, you kill Sammy and Dean-o here and prove to Lilith that she can trust you. Come to our side and you’ll be treated like a queen. So, what’s your choice Y/N?”

You look between Sam and Dean. “Save yourself,” Dean shouts. You can’t. You could never hurt Sam nor Dean.

“Yes, Y/N, make the right choice. Save yourself,” Meg says. You nod your head. Meg smiles at you and kicks a knife towards you so that it stops just in front of your feet. You take a deep breath before you begin chanting the words to an exorcism that Bobby had taught you. “What do you think you’re doing?” Meg shouts at you.

Saving myself, you think with a smirk as you continue chanting the words. “No!” you hear both Sam and Dean shout as they fall to the floor and Meg disappears with a snap of her fingers. 

By then, it’s too late. You feel the pain before you even hear the gunshot from behind you. The bullet passes through your shoulder and you feel blood gluing your shirt to your skin. You fall to your knees and Sam and Dean’s arms wrap around you before you can fall all the way to the ground. Their faces are the last thing you see before the world goes black. Their voices cry out. “Castiel!” is the last thing you hear.


	5. Make Your Choice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel heals the reader after her previous injury, but when she wakes up, she isn’t exactly in the land of the living. All of her choices have led her to this and now she’s forced to make a final decision about who she really wants.

Warnings: Out of body experience, cursing, smut, foursome, oral, anal, unprotected sex

Fic:

When you wake, you find yourself lying in a motel bed. The ceiling is the first thing you see. Dean sits by your side with his head in his hands.

“Dean,” you whisper, your voice hoarse. He doesn’t respond. You repeat his name a little louder, still nothing. When you lift your hand from the bed, you notice something strange. A version of your hand lifts from the bed while a copy stays behind.

You sit up in a panic and stand from the bed. Looking down, you find a copy of yourself left behind. You rush to Dean. When you try to touch him, your hand goes straight through him. “Dean!” you shout right in his ear. Nothing.

Sam paces the room at the end of the bed, a hand running through his hair. You run up to him and try to hit him. Once again, your touch does nothing. “Sam, please!” you yell. Sam just keeps pacing.

Finally, you notice Cas standing in the corner a look of helplessness plastered on his face. You walk up to him and muster all of your strength before trying to slap him, still nothing. “Castiel!” you scream. No response. “Cas? Sam? Dean?” You whisper quietly, “Anyone?”

“I suppose we qualify as ‘anyone,’” a woman’s voice sounds from behind you. You turn to find three beautiful women sitting behind a loom, weaving a tapestry. 

“Who the hell are you?” you ask, “The fates?”

“Oh please,” the middle woman says, “Don’t insult us.”

“Those Greek fates are so simple they can only play with one string,” the one on the right says, “We weave a whole tapestry.”

“Did you learn nothing in your Norse mythology class? This string here says you’ve taken one, you should know who we are,” the one on the left adds.

You think for a moment before you respond. "The Norns,“ you whisper.

"Oh, very good!” the middle one says.

“Why are you here? Why is this happening?” you ask.

“You have a choice to make,” all three say in unison.

“I thought it was your job to decide the fates of everyone,” you say.

“Generally yes, but this decision is too important for us to make,” the one on the right says.

There was that word again, important. What made you and your decisions so important? “Why?“ you ask, "Why am I so fucking important that I get to decide my own fate while no one else does?”

“That’s for us to know and you to find out,” the middle one says.

“So, which will you choose? Sam Winchester?” the woman on the left asks, holding up a brown string.

“Dean Winchester?” the woman in the middle asks as she holds up a green string.

“Or Castiel?” the last one asks, holding up a blue string, “You have two hours; a half hour to consider each man and a half hour to decide.”

"Wait, you can’t just -” you begin, but the three women disappear. Two hours, two short hours to make the biggest decision of your life. You look first to Dean. 

Dean sits by your side, rubbing his face with his hands. He watches over you, praying that you’ll be ok. You’d fallen in love with him second, but you’d slept with him first. Maybe that was some sort of sign that you wanted him more than Sam, but you couldn’t bring yourself to believe that. He needed you as much as you needed him. You were broken and scarred and you took comfort in knowing that he was the same, Dean seemed to feel the same way. He needed you as much as you needed him, how could you not choose him?

After a half hour, you turn your thoughts to Sam. He was the first you’d fallen in love with and your love for him had never diminished. He was always there for you, helping in any way he could. You wanted to be there for him too. He didn’t seem to need you in the same way Dean did, but you knew deep down that leaving him would destroy him. He’d told you about Jess and how he’d lost her. What would happen to him if he lost you too?

For the third half hour, you turned your thoughts to Cas. You hadn’t even met him until after you’d been with both Winchesters, yet that didn’t seem to matter. The way he made you feel was unlike anything you’d ever experienced. You were made for him. He didn’t seem to care that you’d been with both Sam and Dean, so maybe choosing him would be the safest choice. You knew he’d love you no matter what. How could you leave him? You were his mate after all.

The minutes ticked by and you were down to your final half hour. “Dean, you should go get something to eat, Cas and I will watch over her,” Sam says, breaking the silence for the first time since you’d woken.

Dean shakes his head, “I want to be here when she wakes up.”

“Dean, you haven’t eaten since yesterday,” Sam presses.

“I’m not leaving Sam, and that’s final,” Dean shouts, “This is my fault, all my fault.”

You could feel his self loathing rolling off him in waves. “None of this was your fault!” you scream, even though they can’t hear you.

“Dean, you were not the cause of this, it was the demons’ doing,” Cas says. Thank God he was the voice of reason.

“I brought her into this. I found this hunt, I convinced Sam to let her come along, I invited her. I was supposed to protect her and I failed,” Dean says.

“We all failed, not just you,” Sam says.

“If anything, this is my fault. My grace should have healed her, yet I’m useless,” Cas says quietly.

“Stop it!” you scream, “Stop it all of you!” You want to hit something, throw a lamp to the ground, something, anything, yet all you can do is cry.

“I’m going to go get us some food,” Sam whispers, “Take care of them Cas.” Cas nods his head and turns his attention back to where you lie.

The time passes slowly and Sam finally returns with a bag of food. He tosses a burger to Dean and sits on the other side of the bed, across from Dean. They both watch you while they eat, waiting for any sign that you’ll wake.

“Have you made your decision?” a woman’s voice asks from behind you. You turn to find the Norns sitting behind their loom waiting to weave a future for you. Each holds a different color, brown, green, and blue; Sam, Dean, and Castiel.

“I …” you begin, “I choose…” You can’t decide. How could you? “I won’t choose between them,” you say.

“Very well,” the middle woman says, “To make no choice at all is still to make a choice.”

“What?” you ask. The three women bring their hands together, the strings twisting around one another to create a single thread. Their hands work in unison as they begin weaving the thread into the tapestry that’s already started on the loom.

“You may have all three, but the path you’ve chosen to walk will not be easy,” the woman on the left says, “There will be joy, but there will be heartbreak as well. From now until the day you die, you will wonder if events in your life were caused by the choice you’ve made here today. Do not let that drive you mad, for if you do, your life will only get more difficult.”

“Wait!” you yell, but it’s too late. The women disappear and the room goes black. When you open your eyes, you’re lying on the lying the bed again, the ceiling is the first thing you see.

“Sam, Cas, she’s waking up,” Dean says. He reaches out and grabs your hand, pulling it to his lips and pressing a kiss to your knuckles.

Sam moves to the bed and sits beside you, helping you to sit up as you cross your legs. He presses a kiss to your cheek and smiles at you gently.

Cas rushes over from where he stands and moves to sit in front of you. He takes your face between his hands and kisses your lips. You look around after Cas has pulled away. Neither of the brothers looked shocked by what had just happened. Dean laughs at your bewildered expression.

“We knew,” Dean says.

“What?” you ask, “Since when?”

“Since the beginning,” Sam says, “Dean and I knew about you loving both of us since we left Bobby’s house after the first time we met you.”

“And it wasn’t hard to tell that Cas like you as soon as you shook his hand,” Dean adds.

“Was I that obvious?” you ask.

“Kinda,” Sam says with a laugh.

“My flock,” Cas says, almost to himself.

“What?” you ask. You had no clue what he was talking about.

“Ever since I found out that my mate was human, I’ve been doing research,” Cas explains, “It’s rare for an angel to have a human mate, but when they do, it appears that they form a flock. A flock is made up of the angel’s mate and his or her human lovers. These other humans are meant to care for and protect the angel’s mate when the angel is not present. It is the angel’s job to protect their flock, especially their mate.”

You had heard the words, but you weren’t sure you understood them. “Wait you mean…” your words trail off.

“What I mean,” Cas clarifies, “Is that Sam, Dean, and I all love you and we all want you, even if we have to share you.”

“You’re ok with that?” you ask, looking from Sam to Dean. 

“We accepted it a long time ago,” Sam replies. Dean nods in agreement. You knew the Norns had warned you not to wonder, but you couldn’t help but ask yourself if their reactions had been the result of your decision or if they would have happened despite that final choice.

“I want you as well, all three of you,” you tell them.

“Good,” Cas responds simply. He leans in to kiss you again. Dean moves to sit behind you on the bed. He brushes your hair over your shoulder and presses kisses to your neck. Sam leans down to kiss your shoulder. With the three of them kissing you like this, you weren’t sure what to do with yourself.

Slowly, they pull away from you one by one. “You should get some rest,” Cas says as he brushes his thumb over your lips.

“No,” you respond, “I’ve slept long enough.” You pull him towards you, crashing your lips against his before reaching behind you and to your side to pull Dean and Sam closer. “I need you, all of you,” you whisper against Cas’ lips.

“You sure?” Dean asks, “You just woke up.”

“I’m sure,” you respond. You can feel him shrug before he leans down and kisses your shoulder and neck. Sam leans in and kisses you on the other side. Three sets of hands travel over your body, kneading and caressing. You’d never felt so loved.

You run your hands over them, tugging at their clothes and begging them to take them off. Dean’s lips break from your neck as he pulls his shirt over his head. Sam does the same. You work with Cas to unbutton his dress shirt before pushing his trench coat, blazer, and shirt from his body. Your lips break from Cas’ as Dean lifts your shirt over your head.

You groan at the sight of the three of them surrounding you, shirtless with a bulge growing in each of their pants. Sam reaches out and turns your face towards him, capturing your lips. Cas reaches behind you and unclasp your bra before dragging the material down your arms. He leans in, kissing and leaving marks along your collarbone. Dean stands from the bed, you can hear him kick off his shoes before you hear the rustle of his pants hitting the floor.

Dean sits down behind you again, a leg on either side of your body, his hard cock pressed between your lower back and his stomach. He turns your head towards him, pulling you away from Sam. Dean presses his lips to yours, running his tongue along your bottom lip. You grant him access and his tongue slips into your mouth. Sam moves from the bed, removing his clothing next.

Sam moves back to your side. One of your hands wraps in Dean’s hair, the other trails down Sam’s chest and abdomen until you reach his hard cock. You take him in your hand, causing him to groan. Sam leans in again, kissing your neck and sucking marks along your shoulder. Dean rocks his hips against you, rubbing his length against your back side. Cas’ lips break from your skin as he takes his turn removing his clothing. You hear the buckle of his belt clink as he undoes it and his pants fall to the floor. Cas moves back to the bed, pulling the sheets from your body and pulling your legs out straight in front of you. He undoes the button and unzips them. Dean helps to lift your hips as Cas wraps his fingers in the waistband of your pants and panties and pulls them down your legs. Cas’ lips kiss down your thighs as he pulls the material from your body.

Once Cas has tossed your clothing to the floor, he moves back up the bed and presses himself against you. Dean’s lips break from yours and he leaves kisses along the back of your neck and shoulder. You turn to Cas again, wrapping a hand in his hair and pressing your lips to his. “You’re sure you still want all three of us?” Dean asks. You hum and nod, telling them you want them.

Dean helps to lift your hips before lowering you, sliding his cock between your folds and slicking himself in your juices. You moan at the feeling. He lifts your hips again and presses his cock against your back entrance. He pushes in slowly, a slight burn accompanies the pleasure as he fills you. Cas places a hand on your chest, pushing you backward lightly and encouraging both you and Dean to lay back on the bed. Dean pulls you down against his chest, his hands sliding over your body and kneading your breasts.

You pump your hand over Sam’s length, drawing soft groans from his lips as he positions himself higher on the bed, closer to your mouth. Cas pushes your legs farther apart and settles between them. He leaves a trail of kisses along your body until he reaches your mouth. He kisses your lips as he pushes into you. You cry out as he enters you, filling you to the hilt. Cas and Dean begin thrusting gently, their rhythms complementing each other. You turn your head to the side and look up at Sam as you take him into your mouth. What you can’t take in you wrap your hand around, pumping his length in time with the bobbing of your head. Sam grunts and wraps his hand in your hair as he thrusts into your mouth. You moan at the feeling of being so completely filled.

Cas and Dean pick up their paces as they kiss and suck at your skin. The sounds made by all four of you along with the creak of the bed fill the room. Your walls tighten around Cas and Dean as Sam’s cock twitches in your mouth. Your run your tongue along the underside of his cock and swirl it around his tip. His grip on your hair tightens, begging you for more as you bring him close to climax. One of Dean’s hands travels down your body until he finds your clit, stopping to rub harsh circles around the sensitive bundle of nerves. Cas takes hold of the breast that Dean’s abandoned and sucks your nipple into his mouth, tugging it between his teeth. You arch your back in response, pushing your chest closer to Cas.

You moan around Sam’s cock, sending vibrations down his length. Sam’s cock pulses as he spills himself into your mouth, he moans your name loudly as he cums. You swallow down everything he has to give you. Cas and Dean’s thrusts become erratic and fall out of sync. Dean rubs your clit harder and faster and soon, the tension in your stomach releases and your walls clench down around them. You cry out as you cum, your head falling back against Dean’s shoulder, your back arching, and your toes curling. Cas groans your name as his cock pulses, spilling his seed deep inside you. Dean follows close behind, grunting as he shoots hot ribbons of his cum inside you. Their heavy breaths fall over your skin as you struggle to regain some normalcy in your own breathing.

Cas and Dean pull out of you and reposition themselves on the bed along with you. You lie back on the bed, content and well fucked. Sam lays on one side of you, Dean on the other. Cas kisses his way up your body and comes to rest above you, propping himself up on his elbows. You turn your head towards Dean and cup his cheek in your hand. “You know that what happened to me wasn’t your fault right?” you ask, “It wasn’t any of your faults.” Dean gives you a small half smile and a simple ‘sure.’ “I love you,” you say, “All three of you.”

“We love you too Y/N,” Sam says as he turns your head towards him and kisses you deeply. There would be consequences for being with all three of them, the Norns had said as much, but for now you were happy. The three men you loved all loved you and were willing to share you. For now, that was enough, more than enough really. Having all three of them like this, loving you, touching you, kissing you, it would be worth the consequences, whatever those might be.


	6. Family Ties

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please continue the secret lovers story!!! It’s so amazing and I can’t wait to find out what happens!!!AND Could I please ask for a foursome where Sam, Cas, and Dean take turns fucking the reader while the other two lie beside her (kissing and touching her)?

Warnings: Smut, language

Fic:

Hell was breaking loose, and not just because Lucifer had broken out of his cage. The Norns were right. Every time something happened, you wondered if it was your fault, no matter how small the problem was. Now the apocalypse was beginning and you couldn’t help but wonder if your choice had somehow broken a seal that set Lucifer free. Your choice to not choose between the men you loved may have been a driving force in the end of the world and the thought was driving you mad. Despite the amount of time you spent thinking about your decision, you never told anyone about your meeting with the Norns, you were too afraid of having your fears confirmed.

“What’s wrong?” Sam whispers as he brushes your hair behind your ear. Dean lies behind you, his arm slung over your waist and his breathing heavy with sleep.

“Nothing,” you answer quietly, “Just worried about Cas.” Sam nods in understanding. Since Lucifer’s escape, Cas had been in Heaven, trying to find a way to force Lucifer back into the pit.

“Everything will be alright,” Sam promises. Even in the dark room, you could see the worry in his expression. “Have you slept tonight?” he asks, his thumb caressing your cheek.

“No,” you admit.

“How can I help?” Sam asks.

“Not sure you can,” you tell him.

“Anything you need, I’m right here,” Sam assures you.

“Thanks, Sam,” you whisper before pressing a quick kiss to his lips, “I think I’m gonna go make some tea or something.”

“Mind if I join you?” Sam asks.

“Not at all,” you tell him. Sam kisses you gently before slipping from the bed. Turning, you press a kiss to Dean’s forehead as you move his arm from your waist. Sam waits for you by the door, taking your hand as the two of you make your way down the hall. You gasp as your feet hit the cold tile of the kitchen floor.

Grabbing the kettle, you fill it with enough water to make two mugs of tea before setting it on the stovetop and turning on the burner. Sam settles himself behind you and wraps his arms around your waist as you wait for the water to boil, his warmth sinking into you. “Tell me what I can do to help you sleep,” Sam whispers in your ear before he places gentle kisses along your neck.

“Sam,” you hum sleepily, melting in his arms. You turn to face him, reaching up to cup his cheek as you guide his lips to yours in a sleepy kiss.

“I am highly disappointed in you,” an accented voice you’d never heard before says. You jump and Sam instantly goes on defense. He spins around, pushing you behind him protectively.

“Who are you?” Sam asks.

“None of your business,” the man says, “I’m not here for you, I’m here for her.”

“Dean!” Sam shouts, trying to wake the other man for back up. Bobby was out on a hunt, so he wasn’t there to protect you this time.

“Would you be quiet?” the man asks in a hushed tone.

“What do you want with her?” Sam asks.

“I believe Y/N can speak for herself and ask her own questions, unaided by your grating voice,” the man says.

“How do you know my name?” you ask him.

“How do I-” he says in fake offence, “You wound me, Darling. Of course I know your name, I am your father after all.”

“My … no, you’re a liar,” you say, clinging to Sam’s arm, “My father is dead.”

“The man you knew as your father is dead,” the man says, “I, on the other hand, am very much alive. Well, I suppose that is if you consider being a demon as being alive.”

“What the Hell is going on in here?” Dean asks as he rushes into the room.

“Great, another one,” the man grumbles, “Look, I came here to have a private conversation with my daughter. Now if you two would be so kind as to bugger off, I would be eternally grateful.” Sam and Dean stay right where they are, making it apparent that they aren’t going anywhere. “No?” the man asks, “Well, if you insist on making things difficult …” The man snaps his fingers, Sam and Dean instantly disappearing.

“What did you do with them?” you shout. You knew you had to tread carefully because you had no means of protecting yourself, but you couldn’t hide your anger completely.

“Don’t worry, Love,” the man tells you, “Your lovers are perfectly fine. I’ve just locked them in their rooms.”

“Don’t call me Love,” you growl.

“I apologize, Darling,” he says, “And I understand your apprehension.”

“You can’t blame me for being a little on edge, seeing that your kind killed my entire family,” you spit.

“Our kind,” he corrects.

“I’m not one of you and you are not my father,” you tell him. The kettle begins to whistle, but you ignore it as you focus on the demon.

“Let’s have a cup of tea and talk things over, shall we?” he asks. Without waiting for your permission, he moves closer to the kettle. Every step he takes forward, you take a step back, watching closely as he places tea bags into two mugs and pours hot water into them. “Here you are, Darling,” he says, holding a cup out to you, but you hesitate to take it, “Now, now, don’t be rude. You wouldn’t want to get off on the wrong foot would you?”

Hesitantly, you take the mug and lean back against the counter. The man sizes you up for a moment before taking a seat at the kitchen table and making himself comfortable. “Who are you?” you ask him, fingers playing nervously with the string of your tea bag.

“That’s a long story, but I’ll give you the shortened version,” the man says, “If you don’t feel comfortable calling me Dad, then you can call me Crowley. I became a demon a long time ago and since then, I’ve become the King of the Crossroads.”

“Crossroads demon,” you hiss.

“Best of the best,” he says pridefully, ignoring your hateful tone, “But I’d like to be more than that.”

“Meaning what exactly?” you question. You wished you had a weapon in order to protect yourself.

“Well, I’d like to be King of Hell of course,” he answers.

“Good luck with that,” you tell him, “Last I heard, Lucifer is out of his cage so I doubt you’ll be ruling Hell any time soon.”

“As my daughter, you could help me take control of Hell. You have powers, you know,” he tells you.

“Bull shit,” you scoff, “There’s nothing special about me.”

“You’re important, Y/N,” Crowley says, “Though you may not know it.”

“Why should I believe a monster like you?” you ask him.

“Because I’m your father,” he shrugs. You couldn’t even believe that. “Your mother was desperate for children,” Crowley explains with an exasperated sigh, “She came to the crossroads, hoping to make a deal.”

“But she lived longer than ten years,” you reason, “That’s the tradeoff, right? Anything your heart desires if you give up your soul in ten years?”

“That’s the usual deal,” Crowley answers, “But your mother was willing to give me something much more valuable than her soul.” You look at him in confusion. “You, Darling,” Crowley continues, “I gave your mother the ability to bear as many children as her little heart desired, granted that her first born child was mine. It wasn’t even my idea, it was hers.”

“My mother offered you a deal like that?” you ask, disgusted.

“Yes,” he answers, “And I readily accepted. After nine months, there you were, a beautiful baby girl. I watched you grow up, you know. I’ve never been very good at the whole parenting thing -”

“Obviously,” you grumble.

“But I never missed a single one of your recitals,” he tells you, “I was always in the background, watching as you learned and grew.”

“Ok, let’s pretend you really are my father,” you play along, “What do you want from me and why now?”

“Haven’t you ever wondered why those demons targeted your family?” Crowley questions, “Why you were the only one to survive?”

“It was your fault,” you growl.

“I suppose in a roundabout way that it was linked to me in some small fashion,” Crowley shrugs, “But I was also the one to save you.”

“Bobby saved me,” you retort.

“That Idgit, as he would say, found you after you were already safe,” Crowley corrects you, “I made sure of that. Unfortunately I wasn’t able to save the rest of your family, but I fought to keep you out of harm’s way. I’ll have you know that it could’ve cost my life.”

“You said I have powers,” you begin as you change the subject, “If that’s true, then why don’t I know about them?”

“I hid them from you when you were born,” he answers simply.

“Why?” you question.

“I thought you would be safest that way,” he tells you, “If you lacked knowledge of your own abilities, hopefully others would as well.”

“So you get my mother to have your child and then you keep me as your secret weapon?” you ask. Crowley huffs.

“I thought your potential ascension to Princess of Hell would be better received,” Crowley says, sipping at his tea.

“You’ve got to be kidding,” you scoff.

“With Lucifer out of the cage, it’s only a matter of time before he kills, how did you put it, my kind. I hope to change that. With you by my side, think of the things we could accomplish.”

“I don’t even know you, let alone trust you.”

“What can I do to earn your trust?”

“I want you to leave.”

“Is that any way to treat your father? This should be a joyous family reunion.” You didn’t want to listen to any more of this nonsense.

Cas, if you can hear me, I need - Cas appears before you even get to finish your prayer.

“Who is this winged monstrosity?” Crowley asks angrily.

“His name is Castiel,” you tell the demon, “And I’m his mate.”

“What are you doing here?” Cas asks as he moves to stand in front of you defensively.

“Explaining this story is becoming quite tiresome,” Crowley sighs, “Perhaps my daughter will fill you in on the details later on.”

“Daughter?” Cas whispers under his breath.

“In the meantime, did I just hear you say that you’ve taken an angel as a mate?” Crowley continues, completely ignoring Cas, “Y/N, I must say that I was disappointed when I’d heard you’d taken up with a couple of hunters, the Winchesters no less, but an angel? That’s just flat out shameful. I thought you were raised to have better sense than to get involved with the likes of them.”

“I guess I’m not the daughter you thought you had,” you tell him.

“Clearly,” Crowley states as he stands from his chair, “Well, I can see I’ve out stayed my welcome. Think it over for a bit, think of the power you could have, and get back to me when you’re ready. And while you’re at it, take a look inside yourself for those powers of yours. They’re hidden, but all you have to do is search. Give them a try and let me know how you like it.” With that, he clicks his fingers and disappears.

“Y/N, who was that?” Cas asks, turning to you.

“No one,” you answer, pushing past him, “Maybe my biological father, I’m not sure.” As you move closer to your bedroom, you can hear the pounding of fists against the door.

“Y/N, I’m your mate, talk to me,” Cas pleads. As you reach the door, you try to pry it open, but it won’t budge. Cas uses his grace to unlock the door and as you open it, you reveal the boys standing behind it, their fists raised in preparation to continue pounding on the door.

“What happened?” Sam asks as soon as he sees you.

“Where is that son of a bitch?” Dean asks angrily, looking up and down the hallway, “I’ll kick his ass.”

“Did he hurt you?” Sam asks, grabbing your shoulders and looking you up and down for wounds.

“No,” you answer, “Not physically at least. He’s gone now and he won’t be back.”

“What did he say to you,” Dean asks, cupping your cheek and forcing you to look at him.

“Cas, is what he said true?” you ask the man standing behind you.

“I - I’m not sure,” he answers.

“Cas, you’re an angel, how could you not know something like that?” you ask, “Especially about your mate.”

“Something like what?” Sam asks, searching for clarification.

“Sit on the bed,” Cas instructs. He places a hand against your back in the spot between your shoulder blades and guides you to the bed. He sits beside you, Sam and Dean moving to stand at the foot of the bed.

“What’s happening?” Dean asks in hushed tones.

“No clue,” Sam answers quietly, “The man said he was her father, but …”

“Can’t be …” Dean whispers.

You were acutely aware of their conversation, but you choose to ignore it. Somewhere deep down you knew you were tainted. There had to be a reason your family had died, save for you; a reason you were so damn important, and this had to be it. You were half demon, and the human part of you despised that half. Before Cas even told you, you knew the truth.

“He wasn’t lying,” Cas says. His eyes are shut, one hand pressed against your forehead, the other against the back of your head. “He is your biological father and you do have powers that were hidden from you at birth. I can see them now that I look,” Cas continues, “You are half …”

“Demon,” you finish, pushing his hands away from you.

“Sorry, come again?” Dean asks. You push past him and swing open your closet door, pulling out your duffel bag.

“Y/N, what are you doing?” Sam asks as you shove clothing into the bag.

“Leaving,” you tell him without further explanation. Cas sits on the bed, helpless.

“The Hell you are!” Dean exclaims. He gets to work unpacking your bag just as quickly as you can pack it.

“I have to,” you shout, trying to hold back tears, “I’m a monster.”

“No,” Cas says, springing into action. He looks up at you, eyes filled with desperation. “Please don’t leave,” he whispers, “I don’t care what you are, you’re not a monster.”

“I’m half demon, Cas,” you shout, unable to hold back tears, “I’m half the monster I hate more than any other.”

“Y/N,” Sam says gently as he reaches for you. You shake his hand from your shoulder.

“Don’t,” you warn, “I’m a monster and my father is the so called ‘King of the Crossroads.’ I have to leave, it isn’t safe.”

“You’re damn right it isn’t safe,” Dean tells you, “Goin’ out there on your own, what the Hell are you thinkin’? You belong right here, with us.”

“Y/N, you’ve never been a monster to us and you never will be,” Sam assures you.

“I’m a demon,” you repeat, “And one day you’ll have to kill me to keep me from killing you.”

“Don’t say that,” Cas whispers. He stands before you, cupping your face between his hands. “You are my mate,” Cas says, “You were made for me and you could never be a monster, not in my eyes. I can still feel it, can’t you? That electric feeling when I touch your skin. Even now that I know this secret about you, it doesn’t change how I feel.”

“Doesn’t change how we feel either, does it, Dean?” Sam asks.

“Not one damn bit,” Dean assures you.

“I hate myself for what I am,” you tell them, “I’m the reason my family died and now I’ve been told I have powers. I could’ve saved them. If I had known, I could’ve saved them, but I let them die and that’s on me.” Cas’ hand slides to the back of your head and he pulls you against his chest, muffling your sobs. You fist your hands in his trench coat as you wet the material with your tears.

“You can’t blame yourself,” Dean tells you, his hand squeezing your shoulder gently.

“Y/N,” Sam says quietly, “I can’t say that I know exactly what you’re going through, but I do know what it’s like to be tainted by a demon.”

“Azazel,” you whisper, remembering what he’d told you about the demon who fed him demon blood as a baby. “I’m so sorry,” you whisper. There’s a long pause before you continue, “Knowing what I am, why haven’t you killed me already?”

“Y/N, I think I speak for all of us when I say we don’t care who your father is,” Cas tells you.

“Blood doesn’t make you who you are,” Dean agrees.

“Maybe you’re part demon, but so what?” Sam adds, “I don’t think you have an evil bone in your body and no matter what, you could never be the monster you seem to think you are.”

“We love you,” Cas says as he tilts your face towards his and wipes away your tears with his thumb. Leaning in, he captures your lips. You had to admit, nothing felt different. Despite what you now knew about yourself, you couldn’t ignore the feeling that Cas’ touch sent coursing through your veins.

Dean sweeps your hair over your shoulder, exposing your neck. Leaning in, he places gentle kisses against your skin. Sam moves in closer as well, his hand pressing against the small of your back as he presses kisses against your shoulder.

“We don’t care what you are,” Dean says, “We care about who you are.”

“You’re the person we want,” Sam mumbles.

“Need,” Cas corrects.

“I don’t understand the lot of you,” you mumble. Was this also because of your decision to be with all three of them? Did they only accept you because of the choice you made?

“We love you,” they mumble, mutter, and groan. You moan as their hands and lips travel over your body, showing you that they really don’t care about the circumstances of your birth.

“Cas is right,” Dean says as he grinds himself against you, “We need you.” You moan again, louder as you feel his hardened length pressed against you.

“I need you too,” you tell them, “All of you.” You tug at their clothing, begging them to remove it. Dean pulls his shirt over his head, Sam following suit as you help Cas with his tie and the buttons of his shirt. As the Winchesters work at removing their clothing, Cas turns you so that your back is to the bed. He pulls your shirt over your head and pushes your pajama pants and panties down as you swivel your hips in order to help him. His lips find yours as he guides you back onto the bed.

You crawl to the top of the bed, watching as Cas drops his clothing to the floor. Sam and Dean, both naked, crawl onto the bed with you. They lie to either side of you, their hands and lips on you in an instant. Dean cups your cheek and turns your face towards him, kissing you long and deep. His tongue slides along your bottom lip and you easily grant him the access he desires.

The bed shifts as Cas joins you, his lips begin leaving kisses on your thighs. Sam’s hand reaches up to coax your lips from Dean’s. When he has you facing him, Sam captures your lips roughly. His kiss is more forceful and demanding than Dean’s, but no less passionate and loving. Cas spreads your legs wide enough for him to settle between, his hands running up your thighs as he moves to his knees.

Reaching up, you fist one hand in Sam’s hair, the other in Dean’s. You break the kiss with Sam in order to look up at Cas. Cas smiles down at you before sliding his hands beneath your hips and lifting them from the bed. He pulls you towards him, making you laugh as you slide down the bed a bit. Your laughter turns to moans as Cas enters you. Sam and Dean kiss your neck and shoulders as their hands grope your breasts and explore your body.

“I love you,” Cas tells you as he sets his pace. Each thrust is slow, but determined, pushing deep inside you and sliding against your g-spot with precision. Dean captures your lips as Cas pushes into you over and over again, swallowing your moans.

“Stop it, Dean,” Sam complains as he tries to break up the kiss, “We want to hear the sounds she makes.” Cas groans in agreement. Dean sighs before releasing your lips. He occupies himself with your neck, leaving kisses against your pulse point.

“How did I get so lucky?” you ask, running your hands over them.

“We’re the lucky ones,” Dean corrects you, “You got stuck with the three of us, but we got you.” You giggle as Dean’s hand tickles your side.

“The three of you aren’t that bad,” you tell them, “At least none of you have a demon for a father.”

“Y/N,” Cas whispers, his grace tilting your head and bringing your gaze to his, “You have no clue how much we love you, no matter what you are.”

You moan at the sensations they’re creating within you. Having all three of them paying attention to you like this makes your stomach twist with pleasure. “All we care about is you,” Dean tells you.

Cas’ hands grasp you tighter as his pace picks up. He intersperses slow, deep thrusts with quick shallow ones, making you gasp and whimper as you hold onto Sam and Dean. “Cas,” you moan, each of his deliberate thrusts bring you closer and closer to climax. His grace winds around your body, the sensation only sending you higher. “Cas!” you gasp as his grace presses against your clit, rubbing circles in time with his thrusts.

“I love you,” Cas groans, his thrusts becoming less and less controlled. Your back arches from the bed as Cas brings you right to the edge. Cas groans your name, his cock throbbing inside you. Sam and Dean both grind themselves against you, their precum dripping onto your skin.

“I love you, Castiel,” you moan. You also loved being surrounded by the three of them.

“Y/N,” Cas groans, “Oh, Y/N!” His cock pulses as he spills himself inside you, his orgasm bringing you to yours.

“Castiel!” you cry out as pleasure washes over you. You hold onto Sam and Dean as your body shudders, back arching and toes curling. Your walls clamp down around Cas’ pulsing length, your orgasm prolonging his and vice versa. Cas leans down over you as you both recover from your highs.

“Love you,” he mumbles as he presses gentle kisses to your lips. You wrap your arms around him, pulling him closer.

“Cas, buddy, come on,” Sam complains, “It’s my turn.”

“Who said you were next?” Dean asks, propping himself up.

“I spoke up first,” Sam reasons.

“I’m older,” Dean retorts. You and Cas chuckle and shake your heads as the two brothers debate.

“See,” Cas tells you, “This changes nothing. We all love you. Sam and Dean are even fighting over you though they know you love them both.” Cas pulls himself from you and moves away, but neither brother seems to notice as they continue to bicker.

“You can’t use the fact that you’re older to win every argument,” Sam informs Dean.

“The Hell I can’t,” Dean argues.

“Well?” you ask, shifting their attention. Looking down at you, both Sam and Dean realize that Cas has moved away from you. You giggle as both of them fight for your attention. Sam winds up pushing Dean away and claiming the spot between your legs for his own. Dean growls as he hits the bed. Cas moves to your side, taking Sam’s original place while Dean mumbles angrily as he watches Sam leave rough kisses against your body. “Dean,” you say gently as you reach out to him.

Dean sighs as he moves closer to you. You cup Dean’s cheek and capture his lips, kissing him gently and deeply. Sam kisses his way up your body and just when he tries to steal your lips away from Dean, Dean pushes his brother away. A huff escapes Sam’s lips and Dean can’t help but smirk. Apparently if you won’t willingly give Sam you’re attention, he’s decided to steal it away.

“Hand me a pillow,” Sam asks Cas. Cas hands Sam a pillow and Sam lifts your hips, placing the pillow beneath them. Dean keeps your lips occupied the whole time. Cas leans in to kiss your neck, his hand exploring your body. Sam lifts your legs, placing them on his shoulders before he slams into you.

“Sam!” you cry out as pushes into you, forcing you to break the kiss with Dean.

“That’s better,” Sam says obviously proud of himself. Dean gives his brother a dirty look before cupping your cheek and bringing your lips back to his. Sam’s eyes narrow. He shifts your legs, placing them together on one of his shoulders, making you tighter around him.

“Sam,” you moan against Dean’s lips as Sam’s cock twitches inside you. Sam chuckles. He holds your legs fast against him as he pulls back and thrusts into you roughly. You can’t stop yourself from gasping and whimpering as Sam thrusts into you again and again. Each of his rough thrusts makes your body shift on the bed, your breasts bouncing.

“Fuck, Y/N,” Sam grunts, “I love you.” Dean finally breaks the kiss, allowing you to return Sam’s declarations of love. You lie back, looking up at Sam as you reach for Cas and Dean. Moans and gasps escape your lips with each of Sam’s rough thrusts. The bed rocks with the force of Sam pushing into you again and again. “Doesn’t matter if you’re part demon,” he tells you, “This is what you do to me. You always made me feel like this and you always will.”

“Sam,” you moan as you teeter on the edge of orgasm yet again, “I love you. Oh, Sam!” a cry escapes your lips as your walls clamp down around Sam’s twitching cock. The feeling of you cumming around him pulls him over the edge with you.

“Y/N!” Sam grunts, hips bucking wildly as his pulsing cock spills his seed deep inside you. Cas captures your lips as your body shudders in pleasure, waves of bliss crashing over you. Sam works you both through your highs before finally pulling himself from you. He kisses your ankles before letting your legs down from his shoulder.

“Are you done?” Dean asks impatiently.

“Give me a second,” Sam answers, his hands running lovingly over your body.

“I need her,” Dean complains.

“We all do,” Cas says, interrupting the brothers’ bickering.

“I need you, Y/N,” Dean says, appealing to you, “Please.” He takes your hand in his and guides it down to his leaking cock. “This is the state you put me in,” Dean tells you, rocking his hips and pushing his rock hard length into your fisted hand, “Ever since I met you, you were all I wanted. Please, Y/N, don’t make me wait any longer. I need you.”

“I need you too,” you tell him, kissing him passionately.

“Suck up,” Sam grumbles as he moves to the side. Dean quickly takes his place. He pulls the pillow from beneath your hips before pulling you down the bed. You squeal and giggle as he pulls you so that your hips are right on the edge of the bed. “What the Hell do you think you’re doing?” Sam asks his brother.

Dean doesn’t answer. He places his hands beneath your thighs, guiding your legs up around his waist. When they’re in place, he places one hand beside you for support before leaning down just slightly. The bed shifts as Cas moves to lie with his feet up towards the pillows. One of Cas’ hands slips beneath your head, bringing your lips to his as he kisses you upside down. He tilts his head, giving him a better angle. Sam grumbles as he moves to lie on your other side, facing the same way as Cas.

“I love you, Y/N,” Dean says as he lines himself up with your entrance.

“I love you too,” you tell him, moaning as he sinks into you slowly. His thrusts are a stark contrast to Sam’s. Each one has power behind it, but they’re more controlled and gentle than Sam’s had been. It was like he wanted to make sure you understood his love for you.

Sam and Cas both vie for your attention, kissing and touching you. Dean moans your name, his thrusts becoming rougher but no less loving. His hand slides up your thigh, until he reaches the spot between your legs. You moan as he presses his thumb to your clit. Your every nerve was already on fire and Dean’s actions are driving you wild.

Cas takes one of your hands in his and squeezes. “We love you,” he whispers, lips brushing your ear. Sam brushes your hair back, kissing your lips lovingly.

“Y/N,” Dean groans with each thrust. His movements become more and more erratic.

“Dean,” you moan against Sam’s lips. You tighten your legs around his waist as the pressure returns to your stomach, drawing him deep inside you with each of his thrusts. His cock twitches inside you and a lightning bolt of pleasure courses through you, making you cry out. “Dean,” you moan, “Oh, Dean!”

“Y/N!” Dean shouts as he cums with you. Your walls clamp down around his pulsing cock, both of you losing yourself to the other. You reach for Dean and pull him down above you, wanting to feel him close to you. Dean places his forearm beside your head, claiming your lips for his own. “I love you,” Dean whispers against your lips, “We all love you and nothing will ever change that.” Dean’s thrusts slowly come to an end and he pulls himself from you gently.

“Come here, Y/N,” Cas prompts as he moves back to the top of the bed. He reaches a hand out to you and you move up the bed, taking his hand. Cas guides you to sit between his legs, lying back against his chest. He runs a hand through your hair as Sam and Dean move to sit to either side of you. “Y/N, my father created you and if he made you part demon then it’s for a reason. You’re my mate and we were made for each other. Anything you see in yourself as a flaw, I see as divine intent. You’re perfect and as Dean said, we love you and nothing will ever change that.”

“Nothing,” Sam and Dean agree. Dean continues, “We each chose to be with you and not one of us regrets that decision.”

“I know,” you tell them though you weren’t sure if you believed it or not, “And I love each of you more than anything.”

“But?” Sam asks, knowing that you weren’t ok with the situation.

“I hate knowing that part of me is the monster I hate most in this world,” you tell them.

“You may be demon by blood,” Dean tells you, “But you’ve proven that you’re no demon.”

“You’d make a better angel than I do,” Cas says. You huff a laugh.

“Hardly,” you tell him.

“Y/N, if there’s one thing I know, it’s that you don’t have to be what other people make you,” Sam says, “I don’t have to be the monster that Azazel made me and you don’t have to be the demon your father made you. You’re what you decide to be, by the choices you make, not the blood that runs through your veins.” You nod and smile halfheartedly. Maybe he was right, but where would your choices lead you, and more importantly, who would they make you?


End file.
